Separation.
My wife and I have been separated in the house for almost the past month. We have argued quite a bit over the years. She seems to want to push it to a divorce and we have two kids. No matter how much I express my love for her I get nothing back. She blames me for everything in her life, but I haven't been her only issue. She has also inflicted a lot of pain in my life. I want to be a better person and she just wants to leave.
@courteousWest5852,
the two of you just might have got stuck in the Demon Dialogues:
https://www.bewellworld.com/article.cgi?id=Psychotherapy_240
Me and my wife have, and it was too late to save our marriage. We are still in marriage counseling though, and are getting great help to try to undo the deathly cancerous pattern we got ourselves in.
My wife filed for divorce, that does not mean that "us" is over for good. We still love each other deeply and truly beyond words. Although that was not always apparent.
Maybe you can propose joint marriage counseling to your wife. Now, marriage counseling does NOT mean that the focus is on fixing the marriage. If you run into a therapist who says otherwise, go find yourself another therapist.
It is all about trying to better communicate. A decent therapist would add "by trying to truly understand each other". Understanding is not agreeing, it is having respect for someone else's point of views.
Now, marriage counseling can really help when, like in your situation, there are kids involved. It's better for all if, after being divorced or whatever, you and your partner can pleasantly and freely communicate with each other, instead of arguing, blaming, finger pointing.
So, if both of you want the best possible outcome for your kids, then I'd seriously consider joint marriage counseling.
If your wife does want a divorce, forget lawyers, think mediators. Cheaper, and most likely more empathetic.
Take care, all of you (you, your wife, and your kids).
Thank you so much for what you said. It gave me hope and made me think either way I can be better. I'm sorry for what happened to you as well. I hope it doesn't turn out that way for us, but if it goes that way I can be better throughout the process.
