Should I leave?
My husband has had alcohol problems for 10+ years. Even though he has held down a good job and isnt a typical ‘shaky alcoholic that drinks spirits everyday, his drinking has controlled our lives. We are late thirties, I got him to admit he had a problem approx 2 years ago and since then hes tried a few things to combat it (counselling, controlling it himself etc). Hes been successful with some things but only temporarily. To me, given the length of time its been going on and the impact it has had on us, any ‘normal person would have decided to quit drinking altogether. But he never chooses to do this. Which makes me feel second best. Ive stuck with him through everything for 18 years, and unfortunately its led me to seek attention/solace/comfort (whatever the excuse may be called) outside the marriage a few times in recent years. Im not proud of this and therefore asking myself the question- should I leave him a) because he wont choose to give up alcohol completely and b) because Ive now been unfaithful?
The other major factor is that we nobody knows other than a few friends I have had to confide in and his family (who are a bunch of addicts themselves).
Im thoroughly unhappy.
@JJ1000
I'd like to start by saying- you've been so brave in sharing your story on here. It's no easy job to write anything personal online, but you did just that. Advice is easy to give, but not helpful to you. I'd suggest writing a list of all the options you have, and pros and cons of each. If you feel you need help, you can reach out to a listener on here, or seek professional counselling in person.
The thing with addiction- alcoholism in this case-is that it is SO hard to get control of. And if the person isn't ready or completely committed to recovery, the higher the chances of a slip up occuring. It might not be because they put you second, though it feels like it. Addiction is used to fulfil something that we are missing, or to help us temporarily "block" out the issue that's troubling us.
Again, if you're needing support or help, 7 Cups listeners are here for you. Good luck with everything. :) xx
@rebecca947 thank you for your honest and insightful perspective. It means a lot and I sincerely appreciate your reply.
