Should I send my ex a goodbye letter or do it in person? Or say goodbye at all?
So my boyfriend of 3 years and I just broke up because of our differences, he said he thinks we are not meant for each other. I was heartbroken and at the moment begged to get back together but have come to realize that we both deserve better and the opportunity to be happy. So I have decided that the descicion be mutual. He will move out of the country in two months but I would like to say goodbye before he leaves. I was wondering if it would be OK to wish him the best in person, maybe I should write it in a letter or not say goodbye at all. I really do want to wish him the best and let him know that I am grateful for our time together. I just don't want it to be akward. I don't know how he will respond. I am hoping it will be positive and that he doesn't think I'm trying to get back together. Up until now I have been the one to contact him because he said he wanted to be friends and although he always answers its been one sided and his responses are very short.
Hi @shyChestnut7537
I'm really proud of you for wanting to give a nice goodbye to your ex and trying to keep the friendship between you two. I have to say that you're truly an understanding and rational person!.
To be honest, I had to give my goodbyes to my ex too when we both graduated, but I had to tell him some things along with the goodbye. Unfortunately, I'm not a verbally articulate kind of person. I'd stammer and I'd forget words that I want to express to him. Thus, I went up to him, acted as a friend. It was awkward, but I brushed it off because I think that would be the last time I might ever see him again as we're going our separate ways after graduation. After I gave my goodbyes, I gave him a letter as well for him to read later. So I got a win win situation by saying goodbye, and also telling him what I wanted to say in the letter, clearly.
I'm not sure whether you will see him again or not, but I presume chances may be low since he's moving away. Thus, it's entirely up to you whether to say it verbally, or send him a letter, or you can do both. It depends on whether you think you can express yourself clearly on the day he leaves, or you think that writing would help you convey the right message......
But, just so you know, some words are meant to be said at the right time.
Yours sincerely,
Lynn 
@SnowInOctober Thank you for your kind words Lynn. Also for sharing your story. Yeah I think having both is a good idea. I have already written what I want to say so I won't forget so I'll be sure to take a letter with me just in case. I've been practicing all I want to say but sometimes I break down in tears. I hope when the moment comes I can maintain my composure.
@shyChestnut7537
Aw, you're very welcome. It's nice to see you've come to a decision. You can do this, and I wish you all the best!!
p.s Even if tears fall, I assure you, the sense of accomplishment after you finally do it is worth it. <3
Sincerely,
Lynn.
@shyChestnut7537 I know it's hard but I'd suggest saying goodbye in person. If you can - and this may be a bridge too far - thank him for the good times you had together. Commiserate about breaking up.
I've done this and I find it is helping me move on in a positive way.
