Sick to my stomach...
I made the mistake of "taking the bait" from the ex... he sent me texts saying how he can't do life without me and made suggestions about what he could do in the relationship. I had just told him I have to cut him out of my life, and I was serious about it. Or so I thought.
i made the mistake of calling him and talking to him... now the decision not to be together feels more like his choice than mine, and I hate that. I know it's not a competition... but I feel like I took a huge step back in my healing process by giving him that "win".
now I feel even worse. now my mind goes to thinking of him with other women. I need to let go of the need control this, and I don't know how. I feel like I need an answer now instead of waiting for us both to get help w our individual issues, and actually being ready for each other.
i am dreading Tuesday and Wednesday because I am off work and idk what to do to keep busy.
@jijibug I can imagine the anxiety you must be feeling, especially when this situations feels out of your control, more of his choice than yours. Just remember that you are in control of your future. If you don't like something, you have the power to change it. You can get through this. It may feel like you don't always have choices, but you do. Hang in there. 
@EleNergy Thank you. part of my problem is I try to control too much too... I have a group meeting tomorrow and I will be sharing for the first time. I hope it helps me gain more perspective. it just plain sucks!
