So lost after breaking things off
I have posted about this before as I had no resolution in the situation but now I have had an answer.
I was with someone for 5 months who I met online. Everything was wonderful and he was the first man I had clicked with in so so long. We spent lots of time together, going out, staying at his. At the beginning we were planning trips like going away for Halloween. One night I received a message from him randomly saying he didnt want to rush into anything intense and wanted to progress a relationship naturally. I just thought he was having a 3 month freak out and reassured him that I just wanted to progress naturally and didnt want to move in with him or anything like that.
Things carried on but he became a lot less open and romantic. He never mentioned future plans but always made time for me. He soon then stopped asking me out or to stay at his. I started getting paranoid at this point and thought it was something I had done. He always seemed emotionally distant and never seemed to open up. I had confronted him and said I never know how you feel, he just said I am a clear kind of guy.
Christmas came around and he seemed to make himself more and more busy with friends. He never mentioned any plans for Christmas Eve, so I just wished him Merry Christmas.
My mental state was pretty fried so I then messaged to say what is going on with us as I am clearly not what he wanted. I told him I was to walk away and give him space even though I really cared about him. I said that I wanted a relationship but he couldnt commit.
He eventually replied telling me last year his engagement broke off as he was to be married in 2018 and he thought he was ready to date, but clearly wasnt. He said I was an amazing girl, and if any other time he would be with me. He said he didnt want to cut ties as we get along so well.
Forward to now and I am feeling so lost. I miss him terribly and hate that he is got on so well and that just disappeared. I dont know what to do with myself as it is constantly on my mind. Did I do right to immediately break it off, should I have just asked for a conversation?
@ivory222 I'm sorry for what you're going through. I mean you guys started off so so hot then all of a sudden it just went cold, barely any transition period. Should you have asked for a conversation instead of breaking it off? What would you have wanted to hear from the conversation that you haven't heard already? He pretty much made it clear that he thought he was ready when in truth he wasn't.
