So lost with my ex
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I've lost her and it was all good a week ago. We have been broken up for awhile now but never stopped talking. Back and forth and what not. I recently spent the past week with her off and on not everyday. But slept over alot. She says she loves me. Wants to be with me. But wants to miss me and or needs to miss me. She is talking to another guy but still tells me These things. It's like she is forcing her self into this and trying to force herself to miss me when she says that she allready does. I want her back so bad and I don't know what to do anymore.
@Efidler33, you are in a tough place, she is both letting you go and holding you close. From this small amount you have written I would say staying where you are only hurts you for longer. Don't you think that you deserve better than being a backup love interest, a Plan B. If you back off and let her decide you or him then you will know where you stand. Not an easy thing to do though. Remember that you can't decide for her.
@Efidler33
I understand what you're going through. I couldn't say goodbye to my ex because I loved her and still wanted a future with her even after I found out she was cheating on me. She told me that she loved me and that she made a mistake with the other man but she couldn't end things with him or with me. When I tried to pull away, she held onto me. When I begged her to be with me, she pushed me away. For 3 months, I felt like my life was stuck in limbo. My ex couldn't decide on what she really wanted and the only way I could stop hurting was to let go of the relationship, to let go of her, and to move on.
Spend time with other people. Surround yourself with friends and family. Try to avoid being alone. Chatting on here helped me get through the worst nights. It still helps when I'm feeling lonely. It took a while, but I'm better at being on my own than I was. You'll get through this. Good luck and take care!
@tealBlackberry7692 i thinknu should work on yourself and do the things you love. Then she will see a better version of you and really miss you. Maybe that is all she was looking for because the relationship got stagnant. It happens and the best thing u can do in a relationship to make the other person happy is being the best version of yourself. Then u will become a positive influence to her and she will become more attracted to you.
@adventurousKite9382
I'm not really looking to repair my relationship with my ex anymore. I am working on myself, but not for her, for me; to learn to be happy on my own. Maybe my ex and I can be friends someday, but I need to be away from her for me to get better. It's hard for me to leave behind 12 years of memories with her. But it really is the best thing for me to get out of a situation that just won't resolve itself. I'm slowly learning again that time and distance are the only things that can mend a broken heart.
@tealBlackberry7692. 
I can't get over my ex, he was my first, I was 18 almost 19 and he was everything to me and he hardly gave me anything and I should've listened to my father but I was in love and I didn't care and I needed him. Then I heard he was being unfaithful, he would leave the country for days without telling me, he would never call or text me, never took me out, just came, did what he wanted to do and leave and after all that disrespect and neglect I still find myself wanting him back and I don't want to remember him anymore I want to move forward but I still have so so so so much love in my heart still cause we were going to do so much together and he promised not to leave and he did.
my ex and I ended things yesterday after 1 year and 2 months of a really loving relationship. We werent always open with each other but we tried and hoped to increase our communication and spiritual practice together. Near the end, I could feel her pulling away and not wanting to spend as much time intimately etc. It was hard to see someone look at you slightly different and with less passion.
Eventually she told me that she met someone else (she also refused to apologize for hooking up with them despite it hurting my feelings) and was interested in pursuing things with them, exploring etc and that hurt more than anything. This was a few weeks after valentines day and a few days before our 1 year anniversary. I felt inadequate, hurt, abandoned, lied to, betrayed...all of the possible feelings of hurt. I went through so many moments of denial and negotation, anger and frustration, where all I wanted to do was make sense of this and make it better. I was so caught up in loving her than I didn't even consider a possibility that we couldn't be together.
All along the way she was telling me that she loved me and still loved me, if not more than when we met. She mad mentioned meeting her parents, travelling abroad together, and maybe moving in eventually. The last time we made love, she told me I was the only one for her. I think part of me knows she wanted to believe that. We are opposite zodiac signs so we have opposite tendencies at times, but I'm a fiercely loyal lover and I struggle to understand how she moved on so so quickly. I think that's what hurts the most. Not the relationship ending (though that is painful) or the fantasies of our future fading away, but knowing that we might have been in different emotional places and she wasn't as committed to loving me as much as I was to her. I feel like I'm longing for truth and clarity.
I'm unable to see anyone in the same light, no one is as kind, loving, or beautiful in my eyes (though I know thats not true) and it's really hard to move on, especially when she already has apparently. My friends have been ok but I know i'm pushing them away with my sadness. I've been crying every day for a week, including my birthday, when she brought me a gift and then went out with someone else.
To make it even worse, I keep seeing her new boo on the Instagram "explore" tab of seemingly random photos somehow connected to you and your follows/followers. I'm trying to ease my pain by seeing and talking to her much much less, but I feel like a part of my life/world has disappeared. I don't want to settle for someone who is falling out of love with me and I cant bare to watch that process but I'm also hoping I can heal so that we can be friends one day (maybe too much, and may never happen since I'm still in love with her).
I hope I can heal, and sadly, part of me is still clinging to the idea that maybe we will meet again, love again....
@Morgen You've already started the process of healing and you should know that things will get better and that the pain is only temporary. I know that the pain from losing someone you care about gets overwhelming sometimes, and I often felt ashamed to cry because I felt I wasn't strong enough to handle a breakup. But it's ok to be sad, it's ok to push your friends away and just have time to yourself for a while. When I was finally ready to let my friends and family take care of me, I realized that even after losing someone I loved, I still had amazing, caring people in my life who just wanted to help me. And of course you still have hope that your romance will continue someday. It's normal to hold on to that attachment, especially when you're afraid of losing it. But the possibility that you'll find someone else and make you feel the way she did, to make you feel loved- that possibility is real. As for your ex, ask yourself if you really want to be just friends or if you're just too afraid to let go of her completely. She probably doesn't want to hurt you but at the same time she's not going to stop living her life and dating other people just because it might cause you pain. Live your life, focus on you, and let her be on her own.