Someone Please Read This :(
I have had so much trouble moving on, picking myself up and getting over it all. Last month, my ex broke up with me for the second time. Before all of this, we were best friends so it hits twice as hard losing a lover and a friend. He broke up with me (for the same reason as the first) because he wasn't willing to change the way he treated me (not being serious with the relationship, holding hands and hugging his ex while we were together, never bothering to text me back, being distant while with his friends, the list goes on) so he just walked away. The thing is that I have to see him everyday at school, and of course it's awkward. I basically do not exist to him, if we accidentally make eye contact, he'll immediately look away.
Does it hurt? Of course.
I keep having dreams about it, dreams of him talking to me and coming back and apologizing. It's so bad that I don't even go to school sometimes, I am literally falling apart. When I see him, he is holding hands with his ex and even though it doesn't matter anymore, it hurts to look at. And I'm not saying that he has no right to do what he wants, I'm trying to say that I don't want to see it ever but the situation is completely unavoidable when you go to the same school.
I know I can't read someone's mind, but I feel like he just doesn't care that it ended, or that we lost each other. I know this because he used to tell me about his break ups and would never talk about how hurt he was or how much it stung him. He's just that type of guy to jump from relationship to relationship. I was just hoping he'd care, even if it was a little, for someone who used to be so close with him.
All I'm asking for is for guidance. I don't know what to do. This is my Senior year in High School and I feel like I can't even enjoy it because he was my only real "friend". All my other friends don't go to school with me anymore because they've graduated. Please help.
Hang in there, friend. You'll get through this.
First thing you need to know is that he is not going to change and the sooner you realise that the better. Take it from someone who has been there done that with a guy for over a year.
I know how much it hurts but you can'taccept that kind of behaviourfrom any guy so even if he claims he has changed don't believe it unless he makes an obviouseffort to prove that he has.
Try to make some friends and do things that make you happy to keep your mind off him. It may take some time but you will get over him.
I can tell that you have strong feelings for this guy. And it's worse losing a friend in the process as well as his reaction to your breakup. But if he really is the person that you say he is, then he's not worth the time and effort. Life is too short to get caught up with just one person. There are millions of people in this world, why let one make you so miserable. When one door closes another door will open. I can tell that you are a great person, and I'm sure that you will find someone that will treat 10x better! So stay positive, and smile, cause life goes on!
I know the pain all to well myself! Go to school enjoy your senior year, you are better than that! With that said the right guy will come by and you know it!
I had a crush on a guy named stuart in grade 10, turns out he was a jerk! Divorced twice! I m better off with out him . You are too! Your a beautiful person inside and out! If he can t see that then the hell with him ! The pain hurts and it s real, trust me in time it ll be like oh, yeah that guy? Takes time.
Hey there, honeymoonavenue. This is a really rough situation, I'm sorry you had to go through it. I decided to reply because I went through something pretty similar for a couple of years after college.
I had been really good friends with this guy. We talked every night, and even though we didn't want to date (mutually), we still could have been dating because we had a pretty close friendship. Well, eventually it would start getting to me that he would ignore me when we were in larger groups, flirt with anything in a skirt, take me for granted, stuff like that. He would refuse to come visit me...if I wanted to hang out, I always had to go to him. I was always an "if I have nothing better to do" option, or a "fun friend" as he called me once (that really bugged me). And he was really manipulative. If I didn't respond to texts the way he wanted or was vague about something (even though he was vague about everything), he would stop talking to me. And he randomly just stopped talking to me just because.
All this to say...I understand what it's like to really care about a person and even though you know you left because it was the right thing to do (and believe me, if he treated you poorly and wouldn't change the way he treated you, you did the right thing...I speak from experience), it's still hard to have to see that person and see how they interact with other girls/women.
He'll probably have a hold on you for a while, and it's going to be hard. But recognize that you did something that is good for you. And it is really hard now, I know, but it will get better. Eventually it won't hurt so much when/if you see him, and you'll be happy with yourself and your life again. Especially if this happened recently, recognize that it's going to take time. It took me a year after I recognized that this guy was abusing me for me to actually cut off the relationship.
In the meantime, please, talk to people who care about you. Talk to people on here. Talk to a counselor or a therapist if you can and you think it will help. Try joining a club that you're interested in that won't remind you of what happened...then you'll get to meet new people with common interests...potential new friends!
Just don't give up. It's a hard thing to go through, and it's hard to get through it, but you will. Don't let yourself hide, though. It can be especially hard when you're hurting, but seriously, reaching out to people you care about can really help.
I hope this is helpful for you. Keep your chin up, dear, and I hope you feel better soon. <3
Also, I know it was the other way around...that it wasn't really your choice to break up. But I stand by my statements. If he was treating you poorly, it's better for you in the long run to get out of that. But I know that makes it harder on you. Keep strong!