Still Shake By My Experience

I was married when i was 20—young yes. It was wonderful and i was in love, my childhood fantasy. But the fantasy was not to be and neither so the marriage. We had disagreements and arguments which i overlooked as well as other red flags such as telling me how to spend my money, complaining that they weren't sure of my intentions or what i wanted from them, and telling me that they were more mature than i—that's not to discount others after marriage too such as constantly blaming me for every problem, telling me i was only trying to start an argument when i just simply wanted to talk and discuss something (anything, really), and putting a ton of pressure on me about sex literally walking away and complaining if i wasn't in the mood or lost my arousal during the drive home from work. We ended up fighting more regularly which ended up with screaming matches and broken household items as well as hurt feelings and my feeling like the worlds worst marriage partner. The person i am, i just got more and more submissive to keep them happy, but i'd explode and yell ferociously about how i wasn't really heard/listened-to when truly angry. We ended up divorcing when i was 23. They claimed i abused them six ways to Sunday and that i tried to strangle them. Categorically false. I had no separate phone line and my phone & email was snooped through, No friends, no separate bank, etc. I felt utterly destroyed by the divorce. My marriage, what i'd wanted...