Still hurt.
I'm still so hurt. Sometimes I stop what I'm doing and think about how hurt I am.
I'm almost certain I can't fix this by doing what I really, deep down, want to do. I think about texting him every day. But I also know that he was wrong, that he hurt me every day with his avoidance that he warned me never to address ("my ex, she used to say things like 'do you like me?' and it kinda led to our breakup"). I'm so mad at him and I can't say it because we've already had our sad farewell tacos. It's over. There can't be any more. He wasn't willing to make a single adjustment in his life for me. And I'm getting older and I'm scared. I'm scared to make any kind of move, in any direction. I want to move to another city, but there's always some reason not to. God, I'm terrified:
At the moment there is no way to change how you feel because you are almost going through a bereavement. A loss and a change. You need to try to settle goals for yourself and take each day as a new start. Things seem bad but you need to say perhaps it was all for the best. You need to think about you and how dwelling will never allow those wounds to heal.
Hi there. I know your pain because I'm going through the exact same thing. I have the same questions. The good times keep playing in my head which make feel guilty for leaving him. We are actually still in the same house because I'm still packing. I ignored my gut for 3 years and kept going back. Like you, he would not change any dynamics in his life for me, but expected me to bend backwards. If you KNOW you had to make this decision, then you are doing the right thing. There's good and bad days. Focus on what YOU want to achieve. Look at the positives. Don't dwell on the negatives. I truly hope your heart finds peace.