Struggling with Ugly Divource
Almost 3 years n still fighting in court. Court into co parenting n child rep report suggests split week care n control of kid. Devasted if finalized as such. Kiddo is my whole world. How to even sleep without nights or even weeks of him by my side? The thought of this has already kept me awake many nights. I dont have a family to turn to n limited social circle. He sure know how to break me.
Tell me how to cope or how you cope. Feeling rock bottom low n sinking.
Dont worry about dispensing advices cos i can discern n decide myself whether suitable for me. I guess i needed more than a listening ear.
If it is finalized like that will your child be in danger? Like do you think your ex could harm your child? If not then I think the only thing to do is allow yourself to grieve. This is a big deal and there's no way to magically bounce back overnight. But I think you could really help yourself by releasing your feelings. I would suggest writing in a journal all your fears, insecurities, emotions about yourself, your perceived future, about raising your child etc. journaling is scientifically proven to be beneficial in managing emotions. Give yourself time and gently help yourself along. So that your pain and any negative impacts of the pain won't last as long. You feeling stable and happy helps your child significantly since he/she is probably confused and scared about what's going on
Also if you go to huffington post there is a divorce section that you might find helpful
@lemontime20, thank you ! Emo stabilzation for sake of myself n child, i get it. I find it very hard at this stage, feeling victimized n so unfair. I need to focus. I know i need to find a passion, a hobby to keep myself occupied, to heal to distract myself but not been able to find one past years as well. My head tells me one thing my emo another. I am trying to stay afloat.
@quitedrum8139 aww don't be so hard on yourself. The number one way to speed up healing is if you are gentle with yourself and show yourself compassion. I think anyone in your situation would feel and react how you are. Also the fact that you have no support system makes it even harder. I know it sucks being victimized by your ex but you have to remember that you can't control what others do but you can control how you react. "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleanor Roosevelt
Also another way to feel like you are not a victim (even if you are) is to remember that "there is a treasure in every trial" so ask yourself what can I learn from this situation that will help me in the future? This is assuming that your ex isn't doing anything dangerous or illegal. If that is the case you have to seek legal help.
You have already started your journey to well being by seeking out support. This is a wonderful community so don't hesitate to ask anyone for help and even as a distraction maybe offer help to others :)
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here :)
I cried till i feel my heart can burst anytime but it doesnt help. I stay at home staring at walls but i dont wanna step out of house. Everything makes me cry. I watched tv channel on happy news of adopted son reunited with birth mother i oso cry. I know i need to control but am a real emo wreck now. I know i have to be strong but i had been in past years n the burdenstrongest as ever now. I thought all is worth it but the report kept flashing in my mind n i just wanna find a hole n bury myself. How long will this take for mr to snap out of self pity n self blame this timr i wonder.
Take as much time as you need. Cry until all the tears run out. I wish I could say something to make it better but sometimes grief needs to run it's course and you have to trust time :( now let me ask you this are you home alone all day? Do you interact with any people at all? Do you go to a job or school or anything? I really want to tell you to not isolate yourself. Having people around will help you maintain your sanity. Please be around people even if in small doses. Is getting a therapist an option for you? Is so please do it. Please please don't stay alone all day.
My monies are sucked up by the lawyers. Therapist needs more monies, here there are kind free souls. The entire legal system sucks. I have been surviving on my own thus far and will continue to do so. I will not go die cos i have my kid. I only counting the mins n secs to see him n that itself is miserable. I know n i know n i know. I need to get over quick to go back work n be "normal". My head says so. Thanks for listening. I wish i have positive things to share but i don't really. Not now at least.
Ugh I know lawyers really do take up way too much money. As for getting a job I was saying that so you could have some human interaction. You are very strong for having made it on your own and I know you will continue making it on your own but from a purely scientific perspective human interaction really helps you feel better. But don't feel rushed, do what you feel is right in your own time and when you are ready :)
my daughter my husband and i have been separated for 2 years and now is the final parts of our official divorce is approaching. Everything has been going ok but now my daughter has been very negative towards me when I discipline her. recently she threatened to kill her self and grabbed a knife. I looked through her phone and she saying no one cares about her at my house. She was texting her dads girlfriend this information and shes 10. I dont know whats the best steps to take with her