Stuck

i don’t know the context but there are better people out there who knows about boundaries, how to communicate, how to compromise for each other. If there is no change of behaviour then it’ll just keep on repeating. Yes 4 years is a long time. Was it worth all the pain and tears?

I would not get back. Toxic relationships are usually a bad combination of both people however, so you might need to do some self reflection and thought processing about if you were a bad combination or other contributing factors. I was in a few of them, and I can say it's both people. Relationships are supposed to be fun and if you are miserable with that person then I would say it's clear what you need to do. There is always an option for couples councilling if you want to give things another shot, maybe it will help recognizing what the problems are in the relationship.