Stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
Hey, I'm new to 7 cups and I'm really glad I found this place.. I have a few problems haha
A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. I love him more than anything, but he was going through a bad time and started taking out his anger on me and treating me really badly. Nothing I could do helped. This sent me into a bad depression and anxiety, and I was convinced it was my fault he was so angry.
I really missed him and we became very close again. We both still care about each other but we fight a lot and it's really hard on both of us.
Recently he has gotten better and he tries really hard to take care of me and kill my self hatred and he says he's always there for me. He feels awful about the way he treated me in the past. However, I keep getting worse and I'm very hard to deal with and I'm scared I'm going to hurt him. Every time I cause him stress I hate myself so much for it. I don't know what to do. I just want things to be ok again and i know he does too but I'm still so screwed up.
Hi, this sounds like a very difficult situation, I'm sorry you've to go through this.
I have had a similar relationship as well, where I loved the other person more than anything, but our relationship wasn't healthy anymore. Our good times were amazing -same like yours- but our fights were killing me. We both had problems with depression, we both made mistakes, and we both really tried for our relationship to last. After a rough evening, I decided I couldn't take it anymore and had to leave it behind. Which was very hard in the beginning as I couldn't do it at first. But now after some time, they are more or less in the past, I have been doing much better. My urges to selfharm have stopped when I stopped talking to them, and I think that says a lot about how unhealthy our relationship really was. I too thought I could never love someone else, but yet I do. Leaving that relationship was one of the best things I ever did for myself, nevertheless still the hardest one.
I think you have to make the decision for yourself to see when enough is really enough, which can be hard. I just wanted to share my experience to show that sometimes it is better to put an end to it, than to keep on trying and keep on hurting. It can prevent you from being happy and from getting better.
*hugs*
@Trencher thank you guys so much for understanding it means so much to me knowing there's other people out there who can help
It's hard to know what to do when sometimes he's the nicest person ever and other times he's absolutely awful.. and nothing seems to change. Hopefully I'll be strong enough to do the right thing, whatever that may be.
@hxlxn73
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Hope I have helped you!