😔
Hi everybody. So Ive been with my wife for 10 years now And we've always had a great relationship. 4 years ago we moved to Georgia and got married 3 years ago. Last year we had separated. She started a new job and started to change. She changed her attitude, changed her way of thinking and even started going by a nickname. I also found out that she had been talking to one of the females there. At 1st it was a case of her telling me that she was her friend but I was so uncomfortable with her I asked to end the friendship. So last year I ended up telling her that I wanted her to stop all communication with this female and she told me no she said that she wasn't going to stop communicating with her and she wasn't going to give up her friendship. I need up finding out that they were texting every single day on a regular and that there was a emotional relationship going on so we ended up separating because she decided that instead of stopping the communication with her she rather give up her wife. So weve tried 5 different times in this year we were separated and it always end up the same way where she come back saying she wanted to do better but then go right to the same thing of not giving up this female and then leaving When having to choose between her and me. So we've recently gotten back together and everything was good but went back. She refuse to stop talking to her and she ended our relationship. I am beyond hurt and dnt understand. I'm so depressed
@Mavalous
I don't get what the problem is with her having a friend. Can you say more about why this is an issue for you?
TBH I just don't get the whole "it's either her or me" thing. I don't see why you should get to decide who she is friends with. Unless there is some serious problem with this other person's way of doing life, I guess.
@DavidEss
I dnt choose her friends. Nor do I make her choose between her friends and I. But this particular person i do not consider her as a friend. She is in a emotional relationship with this person. That's not a friendship. Way before I asked her to choose she kissed her. They talked about having sex. They txt all day and night which gets deleted. She admitted to wanting to be with her. That's not a friendship. Which is why I asked her to choose. I told her if she really wanted her as a friend boundaries should not have been crossed and now she says things like but that was then now it's just a friendship but for me that was always what was said and all those things happened.
She even moved with the girl's family when we separated. She couldn't move with the girl for some reason. The girl even told me as long as I fight for my marriage shes not going to go anywhere. My wife rather end our marriage then to stop talking to her. It makes me feel like I'm worthless when it comes to her and I dnt see how she expects me to just be ok with them talking on a regular or what not.
@Mavalous
Now I get it. Yes, it sounds like she's asking you to agree with her having two partners, or to finish your relationship.
I suppose you are wondering if you should wait and see what happens, or leave now?
@Mavalous
And of course the fact this is a woman is irrelevant.
@DavidEss
I guess that's what I'm doing. It's so hard. And she really dnt get it. And yes it is very irrelevant lol. I am a woman as well. We are in a lesbian marriage. I just dnt know what to do. I love her so much but I have been through so much pain with this situation
@Mavalous
Ha, yes, I did assume!
It's a dreadful situation to be in. How long will you be able to put up with it, do you feel? My instant thought was "walk away now" but that's easy for me to say, I'm not in love with her.
@DavidEss
That I do not know. I have tried to walk away but I love her so much. We've been together for so long. She's my first REAL love and relationship. We came out officially with each other. She's my high school sweetheart. So yes its VERY hard. But it hurts so much. Idk what to do. Or what I'm going to do.
@Mavalous
It's hard not to feel let down and betrayed, I should imagine, and perhaps even to feel resentment over what is happening.
Keep in touch.
@DavidEss
I will. And thank you. Haven't had someone to really let it out to. I appreciate you so much.
@Mavalous
Thanks for the feedback.
I'm not going anywhere :)
(although with this virus you never know)