The worst part of my break up is my ex is still one of my only friends
Sorry this is so long. I had few friends before I met him to be fair but I did have a couple of people I hung out with regularly. After 5 years and 2 kids Im now down to my sister and my ex. We broke up for the final time about 3 weeks ago and it was ugly. Part of the reason for our break up was because he was aggressive and verbally abusive towards me and our kids ages 2 and 3.
Since the breakup hes being a lot nicer and has been attempting to be a real friend even though Im very apprehensive about that. I mean hes done a lot of crappy things to me in the past. But the only other friend I have is my sister who has quite a busy social life. So when shes not available I have no one else to talk to. I should mention both of my children have receptive and expressive language delays and are nonverbal. I talk to them anyway just like they were any other kid but rarely do they react in a way that would show they understood.
My ex comes over to see the kids about 3-4 days a week. So I still talk to and see him more than anyone else. He hopes that well get back together one day. The thing is that Im starting to think that maybe I am a horrible person and that must be why so dont have any other friends. Like maybe everybody else can see something about me that I cant. And that maybe my ex is the best I can do and I should just be happy someone wants to be my friend.
Sorry to hear you are going through such a situation,don't be too harsh on yourself,even if you have some issues to deal with,nobody deserves to be treated in an abusive and aggressive way,you included!Don't blame yourself for your husband's rude behaviour!You cannot control how he behaves towards you,if he is rude that's on him.What you can control is your response to his rudeness.If you have enough self-love and self-respect,you will not allow him to treat you like a doormat!His behaviour after the break-upblboks like hoovering to me!You obviously feel isolated with two little kids,sometimes abusive people aim to isolate their targets of abuse on purpose,little by little because they become easier to control and manipulate.You can look back and identify what was your situation before and how you ended up here.You should practise self-love and self -care every day - start doing something you like,e.g.a hobby,.aybe some kind of sport ,reading,drawing,swimming,jogging,working out at a gym,cooking etc.Something which will lift you up,put you in a good .mood!For me music is a huge thing,I love listening to .music or to guided meditations online.They are a great way to ground you and relax you!A good idea is to start journalling,write down your thoughts,frustrations,distress etc ,it's a good way to vent and get them out of your system.W by don't you check some articles and videos on co-dependency and narcissism?I think they'll be really useful!Hope this helps and wishing you good luck!:)
