They had child with another while married to me

My (37m) wife (35f) of 13 years had an affair with another man and had his child while we were still married. We had 7 children together already and she made me believe the child was mine for 10 months until one of her friends clued me in. Now we have to live together to co-parent because we don't have anywhere else to go and don't have the income.

When I need emotional support that's usually when she looks for other men. She has my brother and me take care of the kids 98% of the time, which makes working really hard as I'm exhausted from employment and home. Asking her to be a team player usually ends in fight and invalidates all my thoughts and emotions.

Now I'm stuck because I lost my job being exhausted from work, kids, and always worrying about the marriage. While I was worrying about ALL the bills, she was having fun. Now it's on both of us to make the income with side hustles and projects for our business.

In order to have a sane house, I'm now having to be her emotional support for her break up from the other guy while my heart bleeds. I'm afraid she will do something drastic to herself which would make it impossible to makes the bills and I would still miss her dearly.

She always has some excuse to why we cant get counseling to at least co parent. When I ask it's always "we're too busy, next week is better" then the next week comes and it's the same response.

There's no remorse from her for what she did to me and only seems to cry over the other person. If I try to talk about how I feel she tells me she can't handle that right now because she going through stuff.

I have tried to get counseling for myself but can't seem to make the appointment everytime. So much on my plate and my focus is shattered after I found out about the deceit.

Not sure exactly what I'm looking for here, maybe I just need to vent or get some emotional support. Of course there's more but this is at least a quick summary.