Think about a breakup

I have been dating with this guy about one year. it's kinda of weirdbecause we broke up three time throughout the year and I fell into depression when we broke up for the last time and I also started to selfharm(cutting). He is the same as me... We love very much each other but here there'sa thing, we are in a long distance,we are too far away, plus we do not share same language so communication is not a such easy thing. The point is that we got back together the last October, at the beginningeverything seemed wonderlful but then he started not to talk to me as usual as he used to do but i understood and i didnt say a thing, but he started not to talk to me at all, maybe sometime he sent me a short text saying how much he loves me and bla bla and it made me feel better but lately I feel like he doesnt want to be with me and like i said him before that if we break up again I was going to be depressed again and I wasn't be able to stay strong so I got a theory and it is that he wants to leave me againg but he doesnt want to hurt me so he doesnttalk to me to make me want to break up with him. So he wants me to break up with him so he wont ever be the bad one who breaks my heart more than twice. Im think about talk to him and make it clean. I cant live this way i cant be think about one person and at the same time be thinking that shit. I love him so much but he is far away and I already know that distance is not important but I'm not going to wait a person who doesntreally love me and is not brave enough to say what he thinks. I do really love him but I cant be depressed because of him, Im not going to give this power to him anylonger. Now Im stronger than I have ever been. I want to get better and i think i will get it with or without him, although i love him. But its not love if i have to be like this and even though it hurts me, im talking about breakin up qithhim. its better to me. I'll be better off if I know exactly what he wants.