This hurts so bad.
I was with my bf for 6 months and we did have our ups and downs but we got through them. I have had a history of headaches and I went to get it checked out and it turned out that I had a small blood clot. I ended up stay in the hospital for about 3 or 4 days and was released to get on bed rest. So before I went in to see the doctor on the day of I tried so hard to contact my bf and I got no answer. I called I texted I sent him FaceTimes and everything. So I did try to contact him. I ended up having to turn my phone off because, I was preparing for my procedure to help remove this clot. My phone was off for the days during my recovery for about 2 and a half days. I turn my phone on and hoping my bf text me or something. They only text I got was “I’m sick of this I’m done” he left me a voicemail saying “ I’m done with you” this hurt me to my core. How could someone I love do this to me in my time of need. He didn’t pick up calls or anything from me. I get we didn’t talk those days but I tried so hard to tell him what was going on before anything happened and he didn’t answer (he said he was sleep).
Fast forward to a couple hours ago he finally calls and all he is doing is screaming at me demanding that I show him a picture of my wristband and my hospital paperwork. Yes I could easily have shown him but it was hurtful how he was screaming at me and not even caring how I was feeling. Nothing I said mattered to him. Nothing. It was like nothing to him that I tried to tell him what was going on before I actually was admitted and taken to have my clot removed all he did was yelled and screamed for picture of my paperwork. I had to stand my own and not send it to him because, I know what I was doing and plus I’m still in recovery at home. It hurts how he is going right to the negative with me and assuming he knows that I’m lying. Why is my word not enough? Why is he treating me like this?
I have been though a lot with him. I’ve had a woman pop up on him at his new place while I was there and she stalked and followed us around all until the police was involved. I’ve had instances where he really accidentally merged me into a call with him and another woman. I’ve known him to text other women while talking to me. But I stayed. I know it was stupid. But I did. I have always been accused of doing everything under the Sun by him. He even accused me being with another man when I was at my mom house and my brother was there and he heard him in the background. He makes me out to be such a ugly person. And here I am knowing I was in the hospital and he yells and demands proof and makes it seem like I’m lying. I was going to show him but he didn’t give me the respect I deserved I wanted to stand up for myself. He breaks up with me and hangs up in my face after I told him no. I just need advice on how to move on because, although I did nothing wrong this still hurts.
@passionateHuman5752 Wow, I cannot imagine how much pain you are going through at the moment. To be in a state of recovery and for your boyfriend to just immediately think you are cheating and being verbally abusive sounds extremely painful. You seem to be handling the situation pretty well, though. It could be possible that he is scared of you cheating because he has cheated himself and maybe believes it's easy to get away with and be scared you may be doing it yourself (as odd as it is). I seem to be understanding that you are moving away from the relationship.
I think to get over this break-up that happened recently, radical acceptance is most definitely the first step. You need to accept your painful emotions and that they are there. Do not try to shut out your emotions because fighting with them actually makes them worse! Our emotions need to pass like a cloud: they will be gone soon, but you still have to endure it. I would say accept the pain and the situation.
After that kind of acceptance, when you believe you have healed enough, self-improvement is the best. What is a lesson that you learned from this relationship? What is the type of person that I want to avoid dating in the future? What is anything that you learned? Although this is not a pleasant experience, try to be grateful for what this unpleasant situation is teaching you. :)
