This is the beginning…..
Hi everyone,
I have been married for 3 years and dating my husband for 6 years this year. The last 5 months have been up and down based off this ONE incident and reoccurring suspicions that I can’t shake. I was surprising my husband with an out of town weekend without the baby and I ask him for his phone while we were driving. Before this he NEVER not gave me his phone when I asked. And proceeded to make a HUGE deal about not giving me his phone and blah blah blah. I was so upset I did not speak to him for days because he had similar behavior once before in the early stages of our relationship and he was in fact talking to another woman in another country. I forgave him and we moved one. Fast forward 5 years later he is acting weird again! I confront him several times and he says he is not doing anything and he can’t help my insecurities. But I have been watching him very closely and I am sure he is texting someone he is not supposed to. Doesn’t even have the number saved in his phone, and always puts his phone face down if we are sitting next to each other. He claims random numbers text him all the time and he just deletes them but I’m TELLING YOU MY INTUITION FOR THIS ONE HAS NOT BEEN SHAKEN SINCE OCTOBER OF 2021. And this is where I feel stuck. I want to dig through his phone and all his records get evidence and/or proof to confront him with but for some reason I feel in my heart I just need to pray about it and let it go and treat him kindly and God will do what he needs to do on his behalf. But another thing is I just graduated grad school and still looking for a job, he has financially been responsible for me since we been married because I was in school and I feel like I can’t just leave or give him good reason for me to leave because I don’t enough finances on my own. I feel like once I find a job and can save some money I can really investigate to find out what’s going and get my proof because at that point I will have enough to go about my business with my children and not need him for anything. I think the most frustrating part of all this is I feel like I am in a waiting game because I need to find a good job and I just have to hold it all in. But my biggest problem is I wear my feelings on my sleeve, I can’t hind when I’m mad or upset. I have TRIED!!!! Maybe I need to try harder!!!! Someone tell me how to fake it!!!!!! I need to get through the next couple of months!!!! Any advice, any help, any detectives out there that can investigate? Asking for me, a disappointed wife! And if I’m the problem how can I fix me, I literally do the best I can with him
@Jaymomma7
It sounds like your husband's behavior is very worrying, but you don't know how else to address it. It makes sense to be wary and to wish for honesty and good communication given how valuable a marriage can be, and this is important to you. I think it is good that you are choosing to continue thinking about options and expressing yourself here rather than shutting yourself down or telling yourself that your feelings don't matter!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I was in a situation where my husband was cheating and I was unaware, but little did he know I was also cheating.
I have been married for 8 years and one thing that I learned is that even on our worse days we have to try and walk in love. Marriage is about honesty even when we are dead wrong.
If your husband is indeed cheating, and I know how hurtful and upsetting that may be, try to approach the situation calming so that truth can be put in the open.
If he denies it than try not to hold onto the topic, start to focus on finding a job and caring for your children.
Another thing I learned is all secrets eventually come to the light.
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Side note, like I said I have been married for 8 years. My husband cheated once during our 6th year and it was hard for me to forgive him but during counseling I was reminded that I have stepped out on our marriage and he forgave me and continued to love me like nothing happened. So if you love your husband try to continue to love him like nothing has happened.
