Toxic relationship
Hi! I really need some advice or hear from someone that’s been through something similar.
Ive been in a relationship with my partner for 10 years, married for 2 years and our relationship is so dead. I already know I should of ended it when it started but I didn’t. I think I just didn’t want to be alone cause I feel I’m just not good with any kind of relationship because of my lack of affection. But he’s very manipulative and I was just naive. He’s physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. Everything has to go his way. My ideas are dumb and the cause for all his failures. We ended up having a son 3 years in and because I kept the baby he wouldn’t leave me and won’t let me leave. He makes a lot of threats about it. Honestly, it doesn’t scare me, I just don’t have the motive to just get up, take my son and leave. Him and my son have a good bond and he takes him to all his sport events. Another thing is he is the most unfaithful person I know. He cheats over and over again and cheats on the one he’s cheating with. And says he talks to other girls cause I’m not trying to be a good wife. I don’t cook all the time, I haven’t really decorated the new house, I’m very forgetful, I don’t support him, I’m not a good communicator. He’s right about all that but I do work almost 60hrs a week as an RN to pay all the bills so he can save up for his business he’s trying to start. I’ve always had bad anxiety but I think this relationship has made it worse. Right now I’m at the point where I just let him do whatever he wants. He comes home whenever he feels like it and I’m ok with it cause we don’t need to be together anyways. There’s no more love at all. And I’m totally ok with being by myself. Better than being yelled at all the time and my son keeps me happy. I think after he gets his business started he’s finally going to leave anyways…
Thanks for reading. Just had to get that off my chest.
It sounds still like a significant relationship, is there any chance he would go to couples counseling with you? I guess I am just holding out hope that he could change, things could change, since you have a family together.. hope you can feel better about it all.. I know how important it is to have a good partner, so I can see how important of an issue this is for you. You need to feel good and looks like your not getting what you need from the relationship ..
That is a very long time. It seems like your willing to take responsibility for the parts of the relationship where you may have made mistakes. Does he care or realize all of the mistakes he made and is making? I am kind of going through something similar. I never cheated on my wife, but I wasn't the best mid way in out relationship. Things had to go my way often and I didn't value her appropriately. I apologized for my behaviors many times over the years and am currently trying to fix issues I have. She wants to hold things permanently against me and end it. I think a relationship of that length is worth trying to fix.
