Trust issues
My bf was last night in the brothel, but he said it wasn't for him but his two friends. He theoretically was just waiting in his car the whole time. it sounds very weird to me and I don't know what to think. On one hand he said it to me very casually (he didn't keep it a secret) but on the other hand why did he go. He said many times some inappropriate things jokingly, like: i would f* this girl or something similar. I don't like it but I cannot change him. I love him and i know he loves me. He wants to get married. But the thought of him cheating is eating me alive. He was cheated on twice by two ex girlfriends, he said he would never do something like this to any girl😟 But he lied to me on some occasions, very serious ones. Like he lied about his father being dead😐 he is sweetheart, very carrying. He even gave me his phone code and doesn't mind me going through it but i don't know if it's real. I have some problems on my own. i am hard to handle. Sometimes i don't know why he is with me😥 My low self-esteem and trust issues are playing a huge role in this mess. And lastly i don't know if going to hookers is considered cheating for him. Please give me your opinion 🙏sorry for my bad grammar i usually don't speak nor write in English, it isn't my native language 😅
Do you not trust him?
Normally yes but this situation is so weird to me.
Going to a brothel to sit in the car doesn't make any sense to me but neither does mentioning it so casually to you. Very confusing overall, but him lying about his father being dead seems like a huge red flag to me.
He is immigrant, he've been telling this lie to everyone. Mostly because his bad relationship with father. He said he didn't trust me at that time enough to tell, but I found out accidentally, because of his adopted mom. I feel the same it just doesn't make any sense. At the end i just need to speak about it with him, but i don't want to lose his trust. If it is true, he will think i got angry without a reason and he won't speak about it next time, what can cause more issues in our relationship 😥 i am very emotional and he doesn't really know how to deal with me crying and he is getting scared because of it.
What do you think about this? I think asking yourself is better. Do you think it make sense? You know better as well ^^ I couldn’t say it doesn’t make sense or make sense. It’s because I don’t live in your relationship. If you love him, trust him and fix your trust issues. I used to have insecurities as well, I tried to figure out and fix it. That’s what I did as well ^^
I think, that i should just ask him😥 he is the only one knowing answers. But it doesn't make any sense to me. I mean why did he go and what did he do in this car for so long. But i don't want to lose him. I don't know how to even try to fix me. i tried to to go to the professional but never got an appointment 😥 Thank you so much for commenting❤️
If you are afraid to know the answer, forgive and trust him is the best choice. However, sometimes instinct is very strong. If you need someone to talk, you can reach me anytime
Thank you so much❤️ I had a talk with him and everything is ok. He answered every question and i think i can trust him❤️
It seems suspicious to me too. Why was he there at all in the first place? Going to a brothel is cheating if the partner isn't okay with it. Have you spoken to him about this? What does he say? Does he know you don't like it when he talks about f*cking other girls? How is your communication with him?
Our first conversation ended by him telling me about this, so i had no time to speak about my worries and insicurities at that time. I was very scared and angry, and i couldn't sleep, that's why I made this thread. Last night i spoke about it again and told him it's very weird to me. I tried my best to be calm and ask all this questions. He said, that his friend broke with a girlfriend and you know he wanted to have fun. His friend doesn't have driver license and this place was 20km away or so. My bf said he didn't go with, he just waited in his car. He insure me, that he wouldn't ever do it. I believe him. Yes, i spoke about his dumb jokes but he will never change about it
I can speak with him about everything
Make sure he feels he can tell you everything….that’s the best chance you’ve got to ever know what’s real….just be a good listener and no anger or worry so he will always talk about whatever is going on…..then if you have a worry or doubt you can take it into your own hands to find out what he’s really doing without asking him. The more you listen the more he’ll tell you. The easier it will be to check up on him secretly if you need to one day to see if what he says is true.