Unsure
I need anonymous advice. I’ve been with my husband almost 20 years, we have small children from 1-8, he stays home and I work. I don’t know if I’ve ever really been in love with him. I came from an abusive home and I did find safety with him, at least physically. I’ve always felt like this is just life, I go through the motions, do what needs doing. I love my kids so much.
So what changed? I met a guy who I could have meaningful conversation with… who focuses on me. I wanted to be friends and get the attention and interest I didn’t get at home as best friends… but he wants more. And I guess I do too. I’d literally never liked being touched and I like it when he does. Now, we haven’t done anything or even kissed… but I want to. Isn’t that already wrong?
Please help…
I can understand your situation, I have a very similar experience. My husband rescued me from a severely abusive home life. I was married young and had kids pretty quick. I too accepted my situation as just life. After many decades I questioned my relationship with him. I think I've changed as I've aged and my needs are different. I need emotional support and acceptance but he can't give it to me. I didn't want to throw my marriage away , I entered therapy to help me deal with my past, my awful childhood. I discovered my past is haunting me and my relationship. I'm still in the midst of working out the affects of my past on my present life. I hope my post helps you in some way.
I haven't given up on my marriage and I've learned alot about myself in the last few years through therapy.
Best to you ABB 💜
I have no capacity to say it's right or wrong and neither does any other human. You have your reasons why you do what you do. But for your own emotional safety, here is a gentle reminder: novelty always fades. If you're going to sacrifice a safe relationship, make sure it's worth it. Good luck!