Used

My BF just broke up with me a few days ago and I'm still kinda upset about it. We've actually been on and off countless of times but I guess this time he really decided to push me out of his life.

I remembered he told me before he had no feelings for me when we just started but after a few months he fell for me. I don't know how true that is tho. He told me after the third month being together his feelings for me faded and that was when he started texting some other ladies who were prettier. After starting his new job in town he met this pretty lady, his colleague and they went out quite often. He even borrowed money from me just to go out with him. I didn't know then that it was to be spent on her, as he told me he had to buy a few things and his salary wasn't enough. But only after two months after, he told me that he cheated behind my back with this lady, did things they weren't supposed to. I got mad and wanted to leave him but he said to give him another chance and he promised he won't do things or look for other ladies anymore. Sure enough he didn't but it only lasted for a month until he decided to find other ladies to talk to even tho they didn't meet up. So since then we've been on and off. He kept pushing me away and pulling me back saying he loves me and not them. I know I shouldn't trust him for saying that but I really loved him and I really wanted us to work out.

Until now tho he hasn't returned me my money and blocked me everywhere. I feel used and I blame my stupidity