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We had a mutual breakup because of her depression

User Profile: Akeat59
Akeat59 September 4th, 2020

Last night, my now ex, told me that she doesn't even know if she is stable enough to be in a relationship right now. Out of respect for her and the battle she is facing, I ended things to relieve the stress from the relationship to let her focus on battling this depression head on. I went to talk to her about it in, and she said a few times "what if I'm making one huge mistake" and "we will see how I feel in a few weeks"(when her meds start to take action again) and "i love you so so so much" after the breakup. A few months ago, she totally stopped her 40 mg of anti depressants that she's been on for 10 years, suffered really bad symptoms weeks later, then got on 20mg of it instead of 40. She hates being codependent on the medication so that's why she did that and didn't go back to her normal dose. Fast forward to the present. She said those things about it being a mistake, and to see how she feels in a few weeks. This has me really hanging on to hope for reconciliation. I don't know what to do, say, or if anything should be said at all. I do deeply care about her and want to eventually get back with her, but im unsure how to approach everything. Today is day 2 of the break up. I made it obvious and clear to her that it pains me having to end things, but I'm doing it for her well being. I need help for what I should do. Should I wait, send her a supportive text every few days, or try to move on? I feel like if she didn't have hope for us, she wouldn't have said the things she said

4
September 12th, 2020

@Akeat59

Totally agree with pink blueberry. Communicate and know her mind. Assuming.. waiting.. might not be good for you also.

Personally I feel give that much in relationship that you dont get lost into it.

User Profile: Sjias
Sjias September 12th, 2020

@Akeat59 I think first of all you need to make sure that you are going to be okay with however things turn out in the long run...if you feel that you will not be able to keep supporting her throughout then I think it's best for you to end things completely now..I'm in a similar situation with my friend and I wish that I had ended things with her earlier coz her depression is taking a toll on me...I thought I would be able to handle it but I was wrong...so I would suggest if you are a 100% sure that you can be there for her and not expect anything in return then you should keep supporting her however she wants... however if you feel that this is going to affect your mental health as well it's best to break things completely now coz trust me it will affect you at some point...and you have to be extremely stable to handle it...or else you will make the situation worse for her

User Profile: diligentZebra549
diligentZebra549 September 12th, 2020

@Akeat59

I suggest you continue to support her and be there when she needs help with her emotions and make it clear to her that I have this time y'all just shouldn't be together emotionally or physically because that would hinder her progress with her depression and what not. But you Will be there for her still as a friend