What do I do
My husband and I have been married for just under 4 years. We have had some problems in our marriage the past few years, but I thought that we had made progress. Well 2 nights ago he came home and out of the blue told me he possibly wants a divorce. He wont let me touch him, wont sleep in the same bed as me, and barely speaks to me. I'm so lost and confused. I dont know what to do or where to turn right now. I've begged him to give us another chance, offered to do whatever it takes, anything I can think ok. Please help...
@Kafox93
Keyword here is 'possibly'. That means he is considering divorce but isn't decided yet. Begging or pushing at this stage will only fuel further the decision.
Take a deep breath and think about all the reasons why you want to work on fixing this. Is it worth it? If the answer is yes, then it's time to ask him for an appointment to discuss your marriage. You said he barely speaks to you so if this is done in a formal manner you are more likely to get his time and attention for the duration of that important discussion. Be prepared for the discussion -
1. Ask him what makes him consider divorce. Please do not panic or jump to any conclusions. Do not interrupt his line of thought. Give him the space to express how he feels and why he talked of possible divorce.
2. Ask why he won't let you touch him. Again, do not blame or accuse but simply listen to his thoughts. At the moment it's not important to justify or explain anything, it's more important to first understand his perspective.
3. Ask why he won't sleep in the same bed as you.
4. Ask what's missing in the marriage.
5. Ask how this can be fixed.
Based upon that discussion you will yourself know what you need to do to help the situation. Good luck!
@0m
Thanks for the advice. I have talked to him about his reasons why. Now he is just more silent than anything. I understand why hes upset, but I still believe we can save our marriage..I want to save it.