When to walk away. What's your limit?

@amdelco hi there, first I want to say that you are not alone. I think most people (unless they are extremely lucky) go through the ebb and flow of being in a relationship with someone that no longer fulfills our needs or makes us happy. I think that it takes most people a couple tries before actually realizing the toxicity of the relationship and making a firm decision to let it go. For me, I was in an abusive relationship with someone that was extremely manipulative and it took a toll on me to this day. I kicked him out several times but found myself back with him (now I question why I ever looked back). I can tell you that after several times I just made a committment to myself that I would stop torturing myself with a relationship and a partner that made me unhappy and miserable and that I owed it to myself to end the relationship completely and not look back. The last time I ended it, I cut off all ties with him and made an effort every day to not make contact, despite the sadness, loneliness and negative feelings. I knew that if I didn't end the cycle, I would be stuck in it, miserable and unhappy, forever - and I did not want that for myself. I also knew deep down that this relationship was not right for me. I firmly believe that if you choose to be with someone, that person should treat you right and should add to your life and make you happy, not the oppositve. To me, and it sounds like it's similar for you - being with him and being without him left me lonely and unhappy. I think it's the decision you make to be unhappy with him (for the rest of your lives) or be unhappy (temporarily) but on your way to healing and that much closer to being with someone that does treat you right and makes you happy. I think it's extremely important for you to keep reminding yourself of what you are worth and what you deserve. You deserve to be happy and to live a life you want. What helped me is leaning on my family/friends for support , doing things that I enjoy, picking up hobbies that I liked or always wanted to try, keeping busy and reassuring myself every single day, a lot of times a day, that I was better off without him and that I was on my way to a brighter future. I think that at some point you realize that it's a decision that is inevitable and needs to be made. For me, it was something I knew was coming, I just had to make the decision to stop procrastinating, cut my losses and leave before I got hurt even worse. It sounds to me like you are very strong for kicking him out the times that you have, I think it is just a matter of time before you realize that you deserve better and make the conscious decision to move on and not look back. The pain is temporary and it will get better each day. Don't give up and remember you deserve to be happy! Hope this helps. If you would like to chat more, please feel free to message me directly. Take care and I wish you all the best. xo

@amdelco message me and we will talk. i am currently going through this. you really do lose yourself and get weaker the longer you stay in it. but then when they aren't there, you miss the part of them that was good to you and tell yourself that the bad they've done isn't all that bad. message me and we can talk about it more.

@amdelco I so understand where toy are coming from. My now s/o was cheating on my before we got married. Looking at the glass half full, I thought by marrying him, would change the cheating dog he was. We said our vows, I do's and everything. A week later I'm seeing little signs of the same as before.

Let's fast forward to a year later, shall we! I don't know what made me do it or who was in my ear but something told me to check his phone. Low and behold it was text messages about "being pregnant and she's going to keep it and will you be there when I give birth". Felt like I wad hit by a Mack truck. I told myself that we would work though this. She is not going to tear apart my marriage. I should've let it go on and happen because right now at this point my heart hasn't healed from this or my decision in working it through in my marriage.

As of today, my husband and I have been separated for a month and two weeks come Wednesday for something unirrelevant to the pregnancy of the other woman but it did play a significant part because I have been trying to heal from that party of our marriage.

I want to end our marriage but we have two children together where he wants to work it out. He has been controlling, physically and verbally abusive and I just can't take any of it anymore. My parents (divorced) and best friend have all said that it is not worth going through that. Since we have been together, he has brought every emotion out of me but we were still together for the most part.

I have told him twice since our separation we should go our own way, then he goes bipolar on me by saying he's going to go somewhere far away to stay a new life because what I am putting him through is to hard. Throughout all of this, I am always the one to blame. I just want out! How can I do this without feeling like a lush and falling for his crap?