Wondering if it is going to be a divorce?

My wife and I have had problems for a lot of years. For one reason or another there has become a lot of emotional distance, and physical distance with regards to intimacy. It always seems as though we are running around just trying to get through life. We have come to the conclusion that a trial separation is best to see if we want to be in the marriage.

What is complicating matters recently is the fact that my wife started hanging around with an ex-boyfriend. He moved back to the area recently, and they re-engage their friendship. I became suspicious, and it was denied, but then I found proof that there was flirting going on, there was lying going on to both of me and her family to cover where she was and who she was with. When I confronted her she lied again, and I caught her in her own lies. I demanded to know to what point it had escalated, because I could clearly see that there was flirting going on. After denying that anything had gone on, she admitted that they had kissed.

I am furious with her, I feel betrayed, embarrassed, and stupid.

She wants us to work on this, and she tells me that she regrets her decisions and actions. However, I am so mad that she has put me in the position that I have to forgive her for this betrayal before I can work on the other parts of the marriage. I am furious that her actions and her choices have led to me having to be the one to come to the table with forgiveness in order to save our marriage.