a breakup i can't get over.
about 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. we met on bumble, and he explicitly told me that he deleted both bumble and tinder shortly after we began dating. however, in the morning after staying the night with him, i saw a bumble notification on his phone. i said nothing at first, but when i came home, i blew up on him. i demanded an answer. i compared him to my ex that did something similar. he told me that he never told me he deleted both apps, and that he only deleted tinder. i remember so clearly he told me he deleted both. he told me he simply forgot and that i'm incapable of trusting him. he told me that it was my decision if we stayed together or not. the next day, i begged for him to call me and we can work it out. he told me it was all my fault since i compared him to my ex and i didnt think about how he would feel. prior, i was open with him about how i was sexually abused and he asked if i was ready for a relationship. i decided to text him an explanation of my trauma and why i believe i reacted in the way i did. he ignored my calls and texts for the next few days. that friday morning, he broke up with me over text. i asked why, and he told me that i'm unstable and unhealed and incapable of trusting anyone. he told me that someone who freaks out and compares him to an ex is someone he doesnt want to be with. he told me i freaked out randomly and for no reason. since the conversation was over snap, the messages were gone by this point and i couldnt remember that i compared him to my ex. he then told me that someone who says hurtful things and acts like they never happened is someone he doesnt want to be with. i asked him if i had never opened my mouth, would he still want me? and he said yes. and he told me that we'd be friends, but im not somebody he'd want to be with. but he hasnt spoken to me since im broken still. i have no closure. i begged him to call me. everything hurts because he begged me to trust him and i thought i did. i keep going over that night i blew up on him over and over in my mind. i wish i had done something, anything different. i wish he was still here. can someone please tell me your opinion of what happened? i need it badly.
I am sorry that this happened to you. May I suggest taking time to actually heal yourself and your heart. I don't personally know your boyfriend, but part of me wonders if his reaction is stemming from him being dishonest with you. Him lying to you, playing the victim, and making you sound unstable all sound like forms of gaslighting. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated that way...no one does. So even though it may hurt now, this revelation may have spared you from an even bigger heartbreak in the future. I wish you peace and happiness.
Firstly I'm assuming you're Young, so they'll be plenty of time to find the right man. Being young also means falling for a bunch of crap, which most people have done at least once in their life. Secondly you don't have to tell everyone you date everything about your past, only bring it up if you're comfortable and only if your relationships getting very serious, both men and women use these things against each other in relationships(as you demonstrated). I would also ask you to go over in your head why this specific guy was more important than others, go over the things you like and dislike and why he was worth the begging. I will now explain in horrid detail how frustrated and angry I get when I hear that a woman has begged a man to call and begged for forgiveness and how begging in general tends to take away ammunition from her side, and adds it to his. Here it goes: I do not much care for it! While accusations should not be flung unless evidence is there, you have the right to ask why your significant other did not do what they said they would do. I've known a few males at the very least to use the "you accuse me of anything I don't like, I'm gone" clause against women because these types of males are what the Canadians might call eh-holes! Unless you want to be controlled, that type of person is not one you should seek, in my opinion. Besides, SMART men know to get rid of dating apps and such as a courtesy, and to avoid the situation that you described. It sounds like that man was not the brightest bulb in the box and never will be. While it could be possible that you were mistaken, bringing up such things should not be Armageddon for a relationship. Please know that you deserve better and look out for these warning signs in the future. Hope this has helped have a wonderful day!
I believe he was up to no good, making you seem like the one that ruined the relationship but it seems he was just finding a way out to make him not look bad, even if he didn't delete he im sure an honest person would of said look im not talking to anyone on there and show you.....and then delete it if things were that serious, like how long was you with him? I was with someone for a month, she wanted to sleep with me so badly I made her wait 3 weeks because I'm not the kind of person who jumps straight into bed as soon as we spent that night together she then didn't seem interested and found out she was seeing 2 other guys in this month I was with her and all she wanted was sex. Unfortunately people like this see what you want and say they want the same but only seem to do this to get you into bed. After that I never told anyone what I wanted I always asked them first
