don't know what's next
Where to begin I went through a 16 year marriage YX work as a teacher for more than 70 hours a week didn't cook dinner clean didn't hear anything about her job this eventually took her toll on our relationship and we were divorced after 16 years sometime after that I got involved with what's not mine ex fiance things were good and everything but she had stomach surgery and Deuce lost a lot of weight and her mind seems to change she has goals that she wants to accomplish and I can a copy from them for her my financial status is not going to allow it and she is moving on my parents are dead I have very few friends Tiffany I have no one to turn to all I want to do is sleep I need to move on but I don't know how I am going to therapy and I know I'm depressed where do I go from here
@mrwabell
I am sorry your going through this 16 years is a long time some couples can drift away from one another over time and over small things like no communication no sex no affection things like that or they don't get things in return when that one person is always on there feet for the other the best thing for you to do is think about your self you need to look after yourself eat healthy go for walks go out and watch a movie take time out for yourself do things that make you happy do what you want to do what you always wanted to do travel see nature something that makes you feel good always brighten up your day and life with colourful things also try having a group chat or one on one with our lovely listeners on here there is also our self help guides if you haven't already
@BrightRedFlower2322
thank you for the reply.
i know that this is what i need to do but i have no motivation. all i want to do is sleep. maybe i should force myself to go do some thing every weekend. and sleep during the week after work of course. my ex fiancee is in the process of moving out. so that is not helping me any. and i am still having to deal with my ex wife because we have 2 kids together 14 and 17. love my kids can't stand her anymore.
@mrwabell your welcome I am the same I rather sleep all day but I have a very super active girl so I'm always on the go go go I'm sorry you have to deal with both of them at the sane time I have to deal with my ex cause he can't leave me alone he done enough damage to me as it is but he won't leave me alone you have to motivate yourself tell yourself right time to get up do house cleaning have shower go for a walk 20mins to an hour how ever long go somewhere where you can see the ocean sun set and rise you and your kids are more important take your kids out do father and kids stuff together when you have your kids over camping hiking walks around town lunch movies
@BrightRedFlower2322
how old is your daugther and why dose your ex keep bothering you?
it is going to take small steps for me to get out of the hole that i am in. i need to do things for me and make me happy.
it has been along time since i did that i am always doing for others. and never for myself.
i am relizing that things that i use to do i always put aside for others. and now i think those things need to be put first in my life.
among other things my mom died 3 years ago and that has taken it's toll. she was the only parent i had my dad died young. so now both
my parents are gone. sorry to dump all this on you.
@mrwabell
My daughter is 3 my ex won't leave me alone cause he thinks its a funny game he damaged my ribs and wrist and he rapped me treated me like a slave house and bedroom slave
That's great see you do have things that you always wanted to do this time its about you and your self those things don't push them away do them do what makes you happy always focus on yourself then others come you and your kids are important you only have to deal with your ex fiancée for awhile till she's out of the pictures forever as for your ex wife only few more years and the kids can see you and contact you without her around once there 18yrs old its up to them not her anymore the kids can see you live with you and talk to you as much as they want always focus on you and your inner self relax your mind and body with things that you enjoy doing make a list of things you want to do and do them one at a time each day please never be sorry I don't mind as long as its helping you and I'm here for you that's all that counts I'm glad to be here for you and I want you to let it all out :)
@BrightRedFlower2322
Wow married or not he does not have the right to force himself on you. Rape is Rape marriage does not allow him to force you to have sex and should be reported. And as far as him hurting you that is abuse. I say that because I grew up with a alcoholic father that was abusive to my mom an me and my sister. And I do not believe a man should ever hit a woman no matter what. Is he still hurting you physically?
You are right the ex-fiancée will be gone soon can hardly wait. Glad I learned before marriage. And I am not paying support. My ex-wife gets enough from me for the kids.
And my kids will have to make their own choices. And I will have to except their choice.
I think making a list is a good idea. And maybe doing 1 or two on the weekends. I work early in the morning and have my kids from 4-7 weekdays and every other weekend.
I am glad that you are hear to help I need a friend right now.
Are you sure you want me to let it all out?
I will if you will.
Take care of yourself and that little girl.
I was never married to him thank goodness for that oh right well im glad to be here of help and letting things out helps alot for every one :) hes slowly backing off its taking its time though @mrwabell
@BrightRedFlower2322
@BrightRedFlower2322
dose he take resonsibilty for your child?
and you are avioding my questions about him hurting you.
@mrwabell its not his child he doesn't take responsibility at all any way in life he lies to get things he plays games and thinks its funny to mess with peoples lives and emotions he has hurt me a lot and my family and my daughter I've accepted the fact that it happened I've moved on scars still hurt but moving forward I am not ignoring you nor your questions I am sorry that has happened to you and your family I'm sorry for your loss as well I've lost a lot of family members as well some I have never met in my life only as a baby but no memories cause I was baby i still miss them a lot and wished I met them
@mrwabell
My ex pushed me onto the bed its been 2 half years now he pushed me on to the bed from behind me as I was making the bed he was on top of me pushing me into the mattress so I couldn't move he dug his hands into my ribs I screamed yelling out in pain crying I told him 10 times move your hands your hurting me he ignored me i cried so much that moment he was very rough in my private area he split my skin open bleeding very very painful I tried pushing him off of me he dug his knees deeper into the mattress against me now my ribs hurt so much that is also classed as rape he say Stop they don't that's rape I yelled out so much screaming stop please its hurting he went rougher and more painful now I'm getting tears flowing down my face but its alright that's what I don't tell people not many anyway this is what I keep to close people and hide in a box
@BrightRedFlower2322
i am so sorry you had to go threw this this man needs to be behind bars.
if he is not your daugthers father why is he still around you.
i would at least get a restraining order agaist him. so he could never hurt you again.
he needs to be made to pay for any medical cost that where caused by him.
if you don't mind me asking how old where you when this happened.
@mrwabell
My ex doesn't deserve that roll to be a father it is his but I don't want him to be my daughter doesn't know him at all she has a father figure in her life who is a father to her I don't like to say that he is the father I try to keep that hidden he made my daughter watch me get raped I was 20 when this happened right after I gave birth to my daughter I only said he wasn't the father cause he ain't no father he wants my daughter hurt badly he tried to kill my daughter when I was pregnant with her but I stopped him that's why I say he isn't the father he doesn't deserve that he's a no body he also strangled me hit me verbal abused me and verbally abused my daughter I can't I tried cops won't do anything till something happens to me and my family when it comes to my daughter he wished his hole would hurry up and be deeper into the earth already
@BrightRedFlower2322
I do understand that he is scum. And you are protecting you daughter I think you should be proud of yourself for doing what is best for her and you. Are you recovered from your injuries. Are they perminant. I hope not.
@mrwabell thank you when I first came on here awhile back I only said bits and pieces about my past mistake life now I'm slowly letting it all out what I let out and told you that's just half of it there's a lot more almost 3 years of that I had to put up with I am proud of myself cause I'm keeping my promise to my daughter when I was 8 weeks pregnant at 19 with my girl I promised her mummy will always protect her from this nasty horrible person forever and always and I'll be keeping that promise my daughter doesn't know him at all hasn't seen him for a year and a half when she was a few months old she screamed at him non stop cause she knew what he was she knew he ain't no father figure she never called him anything and yes I gotta live with the damage my ribs and wrist and sore back cause it was always pushed hard against the wall every day and night till I left so yes I gotta live with the pain forever
@BrightRedFlower2322
Wow I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that. And that your injuries are still with you.
You didn't deserve that. And I know from my own past that it takes along time to forgive people that hurt you. I took me 30 years to forgive my dad that died when I was 13 . I had to come to terms the what he did was his choices and I was not the cause. I fine it is good to talk it helps
Feel free to voice more if you want. I already know you didn't ask for any of it.you are a victim and that makes me sad. But glad to be here for you.
I just found out that my ex feioncee is going to close the pet grooming shop she/we opened 3 years ago. Yes I want her gone why does this make me mad
@mrwabell I always thought It was me but it wasn't me he treats women I like that he done it to his mum too oh wow that's horrible hope your okay yeah I have to put up the pain some days it works more then other's
@mrwabell how are you today :) hope your going well to help motivate I think of the things that need to be done around the house inside and out I think well washing needs doing that I have to do that gardening I gotta get on top of that before it turns into a jungle like mine haha lol dishes need doing better do that right away always do house work first so that way you have the rest of the day to do things that you want to do and you'll feel better knowing that its all done and don't have to worry about it later cause you got right into it and done it now you can do what you want to do for the rest of the day
@BrightRedFlower2322
How are you today well I hope
@mrwabell
I'm good thank you just not feeling well how are you
@BrightRedFlower2322
Sorry to hear you are no feeling well.
It makes me mad than he caused you perminant damage.
I have been ok I am trying to do things for myself. I started to take a hour or two between my job and home and go to the local park / lake and kind of depompress.
@mrwabell
Thanks I'm feeling unwell cause I ate junk food last night and oily foods make me sick and I wanted to eat healthy now I'm feeling unwell
Yeah it makes me mad and angry to cause enjoy the things I want to do due to the damage I got a yard full of weeds and that needs clearing out of plants that's not child friendly but I can only do a bit at a time that's great I'm glad your getting outdoors and fresh air
Keep up the great work okay :)
