fed up

@catsthemusical Love is very cruel. We hope that people will overcome their own faults and overlook our own but inevitably meet disappointment. But the alternative is to tell yourself that you can live without love. Maybe, for right now, it's ok to safeguard your broken heart. It's ok to build walls around the wounded pride and stolen trust. You have every right to be cynical about future romance. But maybe, just maybe, someone will climb the tower you built to protect your heart. And someday, all the things that you told yourself would never happen for you will suddenly become possible again. And one by one the walls will come down and you'll let yourself love again. If any of this sounds appealing to you, then maybe you're not as bitter and hopeless as you think. And that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I am done too, but for different reasons. I started with guys at age 14, sex at 15 and looking for Mr Right until I was 45, when I was sure I finally after all that time found him. I was so sure, I quit my gov't job, lost my health insurance, withdrew thousands upon thousands from my bank account, left my father behind, left the country, moved to the UK to become wife and Suzi Homemaker and enjoy love, life, long country walks, and the end of psychotropic meds ( I lived there 1.5 years and never took a pill, it had fullfilled everything I had wanted ). 6 weeks before the marriage he changed his mind, partially due to relentless pressure from his family, who despised me, leaving me broken in spirit, heart, purse, emotion and life in general. It took me 9 years to get over such an overwhelming loss, and even now, I still get the occasional twinge of regret and pain.

Never ever ever ever again.

@catsthemusical Hi there! I'm completely new to this so just dipping my toe in, so to speak. I sympathise with you. I don't seem to be able to do relationships any more - I can't seem to find peace in one or out of one, and even when I am in a relationship with someone lovely, I just feel like running away sometimes ... They just never put this stuff in children's story books, do they? We all grow up with completely unrealistic expectations.