how do you know if separation is the right choice?
I keep having the thought that I wouldn’t meet someone else better. Im not sure if ending the relationship is the right choice. We were always fighting and it was draining me. But now that we ended it, I don’t experience the conflict stress anymore but I don’t seems to be happier either.
I don’t feel unhappy but I don’t feel happy either. I feel
flat and empty. Is this normal? Did I make the right choice?
Socializing is really important for happiness. You may use your free time to do some meet and greets. They say making a friend takes 40 hours of contact. You might start with casual conversations with people you see most often like store clerks and neighbors. Joining a group like workout group, church, volunteer group, book club or try lunching with coworkers. There’s apps like meet up, Hey! Vina (if you’re a girl), and Nextdoor.
If you already have friends and family around then get involved in their lives a little more. Have dinners, spend the night, check out the museum, go shopping, baby sit, get coffee, see a live show, have some fun.
You left your relationship for a reason. It’s okay to miss the good times and the company. Just make sure you have all your needs met so you aren’t backpedaling into a situation that you don’t really want. If you still want him back after all is said and done then that’s your choice and it’s valid.
Thank you for your advice. I have tried my best to meet people and exercise. My mood is alright when I’m meeting ppl and doing stuff but when I stop I start feeling sad again. But you’re right, the relationship ended for a reason. It’s just so hard to forget the good times that me and my ex once shared.
I can definitely relate to that. I separated from my partner for about 9 months. At first it was easy because I was mad. But I started to get lonely. This was during covid so I didn’t get a lot of contact. Couple that with med changes and taking care of a kid. Anyway, I remember the 7 and 8 pm blues the most. It was bad enough that watching tv wasn’t even a good enough distraction. I’d go to bed shortly after my son did.
If I could tell you what I needed to know then it’s just that I needed to invest more in my interests and others and find the right med and have a purposeful career.
The good times for me was simple company. And that’s why I think it’s important for you to continue to grow your friendships. It would be nice to get the point where you can come over unannounced and have a true best friend. Is that the root of the good times that you miss?