how long before moving on

Probably using any specific “time frame” is not usually the best measure to determine if you’re ready to move on. It matters more what is actually happening in that time, as opposed to how much time is passing. If a person isn’t actively processing their emotions and consciously dealing with the break up, then they might be fixated on the post break up grief indefinitely.

Better considerations to decide if you’re ready to move on might be:

* Do you still feel pain/sadness/regret/distress when you think about the person?

* Is the person still constantly on your mind? Do you find yourself wishing you were still in the previous relationship?

* Are you still checking their social media to see what they are doing regularly?

* Do you associate your happiness with being with that person exclusively? When you think about being with someone else in the future, does the idea bring you feelings of optimism, or are you more rejecting/repulsed by the idea? Do you experience [intense] feelings of anger/distress/resentment/jealousy when you think of the ex moving on for themselves with other partners?

* How well do you actually know yourself? How accurately do you gauge your own emotional state? Have you previously moved on from a relationship too soon? Does your relationship history and breakups show a pattern of moving on too soon/ rebounding/ on-and-off relationships?

I think these specific considerations can tell you more about where you stand psychologically/emotionally in relation to your feelings and preparedness to move on, whereas timeframes just tell you how long it has been since you broke up. Often I think people feel pressured to move on “because a certain amount of time has passed” and they make the mistake of moving on “because it’s been six months and people tell me I should have moved on by now!” Instead of evaluating how much progress they have actually made with their emotional recovery and basing their decision on things that more accurately reflect a preparedness to move on in a healthy way.

Generally there is less harm in taking more time to process a break up, compared to rashly moving on too soon when you’re not emotionally prepared. Rebounding into a new relationship when your emotions are still unresolved and you’re still intimately fixated on the ex can just end up hurting the next person as well as yourself.

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