i feel shattered. Why i am unable to accept he is gone

I have spent 7 years in a relationship, and now i broke up. I feel shattered, betrayed, and pain ! It was good in the beginning but things started to deteriorate I caught him cheating on me once, i still forgave him and accepted, because i thought he would change. I felt he is changing but within few months, i would say hardly 4 montjs later again, it all began again ! He started deleting our photographs on Instagram. He started avoiding me. Never take my calls, hardly reply to messages when he was online. I thought of leaving. And when i decided, he cae back again. It happened always.After every few months he needed to break up. I even found out he shifted in with that girl, when i confronted, he was that there is nothing between them and they are just good friends, but later i found some pictures of them.He still talked casually and denied everything. He has one way or the other being cheating on me. And now i am so upset with me what was my fault. I hate myself for letting me take for granted. All these cycles of breakup and accepting him back has taken my sanity. I became so insecure. He just blocks me anytime. It has been 3 months now, i talked to him once, but it was in vain. He seemed to have moved on. But i am struck into all this. My family was against him, i still supported him , i went against everybody. Left my friends, just thinking i can make.him a better person. I just don't know how to react,whenever i see his account.