she needs space - i am shattered
Last week I triggered her (she has PTSD) and she told me it wasn't working out and she needed space. Do not contact her or text her. I am really struggling to make sense of it all and its so hard not to contact her. I want to talk to her to make it right.
Hi there. I am so sorry that you are in this position right now. It must be so harrowing. It sounds like this person communicated what they need from you. They set up a boundary and as difficult as it will be (and has been), try to hold yourself to it. I am also in a similar position so I do not say any of this lightly. My therapist has advised me to write letters to the people I feel I have hurt over the years and that might help here. Even if you never send the letter (and that might be the best course of action), it can be a space for you to process how you are feeling and what you wish you can do. You can organize your thoughts and maybe develop some kind of plan. That's only one suggestion, though. Reaching out to others through here was a good choice too.
@Marcel132
That doesn't feel nice. Sorry that has happened.
I need space is a scary thing to hear from our partner. You tell she is PTSD so perhaps more to the story. If we care about our partner, it doesn't feel good when they don't want our help. I need space is telling that they do not want our help. I know it bothers you, enough to ask in this forum.
I know what I will suggest is really hard to do, maybe impossible but try..
Just take the time to work on or focus to something different that you need or want to do. Dont' just sit and wait, get busy with any of your projects. If your running or lifting, spend a little longer at it. If your not doing that, start. The point is to use this time that is forced on you for something to help you. When she is done needing space, she will either split with you or try again. If she finds you busy doing usefull stuff and moveing forward she is likely to be more intrested in what you are doing than if you are just sitting. Don't try to fix unless you really did something wrong. If you did something wrong, fix it and appologise. If you did not, then just let her be until she feels like comeing back. Long term you do not want her to ask for space everytime some little thing bugs her, if you chase after her while she does this she will do it again and again.
If it goes on for more than a few days, start talking again to other girls if you don't do that already. This will help you be able to feel better instead of rejected. If when she comes back you are feeling ok or good, she will notice and be intrested in what you are doing. If she does not come back, you will need to do that eventually anyway. Do not assume she is comeing back.
Her needing space, is also permission for you to have space. BTW; this all is generic and applies to either man or woman.
Good luck.