where to go from here?
This is a quick readers digest version of my story. Me and my wife have been married almost 6 years and together for seven. We have 3 children. Our marriage has been full of bumps and termoils. I have had a drinking problem that i am now trying to fix. She i believe has borderline personality disorder. I have been kicked out of our house more times than i care to count anymore. I have been threatened with divorce hundreds of times. I am taking a large responsiblity for our issues and trying to correct my behaviors and my life. She never seems to think anything is wrong with her. only me. We would have fights that usually stemmed from me drinking or some other reason and within a matter of days i would be back living at home with. things woudl go well for a couple months until this rollercoaster happened agaain. I suffer with depression now and seperation anxiety. we have been seperated now for 2 months and in those 2 months we get along for a week at a time or so then shes horrible with me for a few days. it seems that she wants things to work at times but times like right now she is absolutley set on divorce and packing my things remaining at the house. i have had my stuff packed many times. it is all just wearing on me and killing me. she has a hard time letting go of the hurt ive done in the past and looks for any exscuse to get mad at me i feel. i have not talked to my wife in a day now which is not normal. usually shes trying to bait me into a fight or something. im told im too needy and pushy and thats just going to drive her to get the papers which shes said hundreds of times. i thought i was making up some ground but then i went back to the trying to hug kiss hold hands deal and was at the house more than she liked. things were going so well we even planned a vacation together for august. now she is cancelling it. what am i to do. leave her alone or try to talk to her? she says sometimes shes not sure what she wants and other times its just a divorce. ive been told by her and her family members that talk to me to give her space and time. im struggling with that righ now..i need advice please!!!
So sorry to hear all you are going through @hopeless1987..sounds like its been going on for a long time too. Tough for you both and for the children.I hear your commitment to working on your issues. And sounds like she 's not sure what she wants, annd maybe what others say is a guide, that she needs space at the moment.Some time out to each work on issues can be helpful, and for now can you give her the space and use this time in a good way for your self.
You know relationships can get into patterns that just keep repeating, and I wonder if you can identify this going on in your relationship. Maybe working with a therapist would help you to make changes so that you can get to have a more fulfilling relationship. It would need a commitment from both of you.
There are listeners here who you could talk things over with... and being supported can make a difference.I wish you all the very best.
@rozie
Thank you for replying. Im just totally lost right now. She is my every waking thought. I cant enjoy anytging. Everything reminds me of her and the good times we have had. I cannot get her to trust or believe me in any aspect of life. Deep down i think she likes me just far too angry upset and confised. She will not let her walls down and idk how to break that. :(
