Intro to me

I'm 50, Black female, divorced 3x and was given my relationship pink slip two days ago by him via text after being caught in flagrante with a female friend who showed up at 430am to get her clothes. I am buried under the emotional avalanche and weighed down by my lack of emotional intelligence, abandonment, rejection, racial identity and childhood trauma subscriptions ( there are so many issues that I call them subscriptions, I'm renting a wing at the Smithsonian to house them all).

I'm also going through a paradigm shift, complete metamorphosis to become a different person than I was for the last 40 years. I've been homeless for the last ten years, got into two marriages to prevent homelessness and I have a child with #2 but custody was taken from me for several reasons.

I need advice on how to cope with the aftermath of being in a relationship with a sociopath. I feel codependent on steroids. I am angry and sad and want to be destructive. I want to not give in if he tries to reconcile and I don't want to try entertaining the same thought and overlooking the infidelity.