24 and have been single for over 5 years :( HELP
I'm a 24 year old guy and I've been single for over 5 years now. At first I thought nothing of it but as time has progressed I only see it getting worse. I rarely sleep or eat anymore. It seems like I'm just not meant to be with someone. Honestly wouldn't be so bad if every single girl I've liked didn't use me for my money, car, or to just get with my friends. I'm a nice guy. I don't get why I've been going through this for so long. I mean I've seen complete a**holes in relationships with girls that are amazing and they treat them like crap. I go out and do things so it's not like I'm a shut in or anything like that. Really beginning to think I'm the problem.
@youngt18 I know so, so many people in your situation - you are not the problem. It's okay to be single and it's okay to be single for a long time before an actual meaningful relationship arises. I'm sorry you've been treated so badly in the past - you obviously deserve so much better than that. I'm sure you're a wonderful person and anyone would be lucky to have you. If you want to keep putting yourself out there, keep going. There are so many ways to meet people and I'm sure you'll find the right girl for you in time. You're great just the way you are.
@EleNergy thank you for the kind words. It's extremely frustrating
I'm 24 and while I haven't been a singe for 5 years, I understand how you feel. I might be only single for almost one year now and there was a period, somewhere between 4th and fifth month, when I began to panic. Well, panic is a strong word more like got worried. I then tried so hard, that in doing so I did more harm to myself than good and that's when I realised that I'm simply not ready for another relationship.
Not that there weren't opportunies, problem was that all my attempts ended with "Meh" mood in my mind. I then began to fantasise that something is wrong with me, I mean obviously it can't be all my date fault every time.... That put me in even bitter mood, because I was in part right. Part where I was wrong, is that something is wrong with me, it wasn't. But something was wrong and that's that I looked for specific meaning, signs and pattern behaviours in each of my new dates, those that resemble my ex girlfriend.
And one day it just hit me. Until I learn how to stop expecting and searching for something so high exceptional and unfair, from girls I am dating, rather than embrace them for what they are and would like to share and offer, I should put a stop and settle down. Once I had done that, it was like I took blindfold off and began to observe situation from different perspective.
Point is, don't try to force it, even if you do enter in relationship it won't be happy, satisfactory, real. It's something born out of need. You just have to remain patient and to pay more attention around yourself, you never know, you might have overlooked/missed something lurking just around your corner. And buddy you are not alone. My best friend is single for 22 years (yes, he never had a girlfriend) but that's not because something is wrong with him, it's just that he haven't met right person.
As far as I go, I'm no longer in hurry, it will happen when the moment is right, when will it be I don't know, but there is no point in given to desperation, because that's one step towards never.
@youngt18 My boyfriend was single for a while before we got together. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right person. He had trouble finding someone in his area, and we connected on a dating site. I live 8 hours driving distance from him, so we never would have found each other otherwise. Maybe something like that would help you, if you wouldn't mind a long-distance thing.
@sporkchop well I've tried countless dating sites and all I get are fake profiles. I do take the initiative and introduce myself first but no response
@youngt18 Yeah, I think a lot of guys get that. Just gotta keep trying and putting yourself out there. Though, as frustrating as it can be, being single isn't the worst thing ever. You can spend your time as you wish, doing things that you enjoy, don't have to answer to or explain yourself to someone else. Don't have to factor a partner into your decisions. I know it's hard, I've been there, but try to enjoy yourself in the meantime. Don't focus too much on getting a girlfriend, focus on connecting with people, making friends, having fun. I really believe that there is someone (often multiple someones) out there for everyone, and you'll find yours eventually. Sometimes things just take longer than we'd like them to.