Am I right here?

@Karamelli I understand. It must be tough on you. How do you think you can help him get better about it?

@Karamelli i can actually relate to a certain degree :) i used to live with my boyfriend (i had to move for a while so now we're doing long distance) and he also had some anger issues. He is easily angered when things don't "work" the way it's suppose to and his anger can last for hours! This used to irritate me a lot when we first dated... i didn't know how to react or handle his anger, especially when his anger wasn't even caused by me! He could be angry about someone else but I still have to deal with him being in a pissy mood in general.

His emotions often made me sad or angry as well, so i think I understand where you are coming from. I did eventually figure out that all he really needs is space and for me to leave him alone for a while to cool down. This was easier said than done obviously, since i cared for him and wanted to help make him feel better.

If you're getting upset over his anger i think my advice for you would be to leave him be while still be supportive and loving. Again, this is easier said than done. It's very tempting to just respond in anger or give him the cold shoulder when it seems like he's being so angry with you. But based on my experience, it helped so much for me to just leave him be to mind my own business and just leave him a cute/loving stickey note on his desk along with his favourite candy (he often storms out of the room/house to cool off)... and within an hour or so he would have calmed down so much where he'd just want cuddles after.

I hope this helped... feel free to message me or something if you want someone to talk to :) good luck!!

@Karamelli

Hi. I'm glad you posted about this. I have a similar situation that I've dealt with for years. The thing that has helped me the most is to become involved here at 7Cups. I'd highly recommend the Mindfulness forums and chats. There you can be introduced to tools that you can use to help yourself.

Also, in the Forum there is a good series of posts about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy . There are several posts, but they may help. Especially if you make yourself do the exercises.

Finally, you can't fix your partner. What you can do is be there when they need to talk. There may come a time that they will realize that they need to express their anger in a more constructive way. When that happend you can support them.

I really hope this helps. Good luck!

@Karamelli

Hi,

I can relate to you. I can't stand loud voice or swearing as well. It sort of leaves me shivering, and scared for quite a while.

Displaying emotions varies from person to person. Cussing, swearing and yelling have become almost acceptable and normal these days. But if it troubles you, try explaining your stand to your person at calmer times and work out a middle ground acceptable to both of you.