Borderline Babe Totally Fails to Cope with New Relationship

I have borderline personality disorder. It sucks. I seem to be on the more self-aware end of the spectrum and I'm in control of my impulses to a large extent. I recently came out of a relationship that was very emotionally damaging; they would lie to me about loving me and things being OK when they weren't to avoid conflict, and tell me that me being worried was the reason that they did not want to be close to me, even though we lived together. I found out at the end of the relationship that they hadn't loved me for a year and they acknowledged that my anxieties had been more or less right the whole time, and that they blamed me and my feelings for them not wanting to be physical when actually they were asexual. As you can imagine, for someone with pre-existing attachment trauma and trust issues, this was not a good time for me. I am now beginning to date a person seriously again and I'm finding myself extremely paranoid about him not being interested in me, and because of my issue with the last person, reassurance that things are OK is not working. I need to get back to a place of trust and outcome independence because the other option is ending the relationship because I cannot deal with the anxiety, and that would be a shame.