FWB and feelings
Is it ok to have a crush on someone your casually dating/sleeping with? Or is it deprimental to the FWB situation?
@independentCranberry3055
I think it depends on the people concerned. It happens more often than you might think.
It's not ideal for you, because if and when your fwb moves on, you are going to feel upset at least.
However it sounds like it's happening anyway, so what are your options?
My romantic side is hoping that your partner feels the same way. Any chance of that?
@DavidEss
He tells me he enjoys hanging out with me and that Im beautiful and etc. he does cute things like walking me to my car and just generally taking care of me when Im with him. He might have some romantic feelings towards me, but he had a bad breakup (was cheated on) years ago and in his own words he doesnt do ‘traditional relationships.
I left a 9 year relationship @ a year ago. Im not sure if Im ready for another relationship yet, but these feelings kind of krept up on me. Im hoping that maybe we start out really slow and eventually something might come of it??
@independentCranberry3055
I would read up on oxytocin if I were you - https://youtu.be/VbFchFe1Nfo is a funny way into the neuroscience. Making love can mean just that. And it doesn't mean it isn't real.
He sounds like a really nice chap who is currently very careful of getting hurt, and you can well understand that.
To him it sounds like a commitment isn't something you get into on a whim, and he doesn't know if he's ready for that yet.
I'm wondering if you could be friends with exclusive benefits. You only have sex with each other, in other words, but at present with no other commitment.
I'm thinking you need some way to open up a dialogue with each other , so that's just a suggestion.
You
@DavidEss
we have already had a bit of dialogue about what we are expecting from the situation. At present we are only sleeping with each other, but we arent a couple. If I were to go on a date or accidentally drink too much and make out with someone its ok, but we have to be open and honest with each other about it. You know ‘safety first type of thing. He knows I am crushing on him a little and isnt bothered by it.
Also: he insisted on adding that I cant date any of his friends. It was a friend of his that his ex cheated on him with. 😬
thanks for listening and for yhe advice!
@independentCranberry3055
Oooh don't use the Advice word, you'll get me into trouble 😇
Well, sounds like you are already in a relationship, except for naming it.
Actually I wonder if would be quite so calm if you made out with someone else as he's saying. Getting drunk like that is pretty disgusting actually.
Look, we don't know what the future holds. Enjoy what you have. That would be my suggestion. Sounds like you are having as good a relationship as many older married couples, and lol you're still having sex too.
@independentCranberry3055
And watch the video. It's hilarious.
