How Do I Forgive My Husband for cheating? Or Is it because I haven’t forgiven myself!

@MossMomma sorry he did that to you it would be hard i think to forgive him for cheating its up to you rather you either forgive him or eventually get a divorce.

@MossMomma

I'm really sorry you're going through this..

Definitely take time to be selfish and figure out what will make YOU happiest today, tomorrow, and 10 years from now

No relationship around you will be it's best if you aren't making the best choice for yourself

Maybe think about how you felt about cheating before it came up?

If anything I would talk to a professional and try to sort it out since there is a lot to consider

I hope you can find peace though<3

@MossMomma

You asked - If he loved me how could he touch another woman? How can the thought of it not make him sick like it does me? If I wasn't good enough before why am I good enough now?

These 3 questions reflect the betrayal, pain and hurt his actions caused you. The path to healing lies in feeling safe (physically and emotionally) by rebuilding trust. Since you have both decided to give this a chance and change things to make it work, perhaps find some time at regular intervals (daily/weekly depending on how much this is impacting your ability to function as usual) to talk about feelings associated to the cheating, where you both come mentally prepared for uncomfortable (but respectful) discussion.
I hope you are able to find the answers your heart needs.

@MossMomma

I'm impressed that you are trying to give him another chance in your heart. I've tried to imagine what I would do if my husband cheated, and I cannot imagine getting over it. I struggle with grudges and forgiveness, though, and I've often thought I would be happier--and make others in my life happier--if I didn't hold on to the bad memories so much harder than the good ones.

This might sound like a dumb thing to bring up, but it touched my heart. I read the book Destiny of the Republic, about the assassination of President Garfield. Garfield was an extraordinary person, apparently, but despite having uncommon virtue, he cheated on his wife at one point. He confessed to her, and she forgave him, and (if their journals and letters are to be believed) they grew closer to one another than they had ever been before, and sustained that love. It seems that he was not someone who loved cheating. (Some men feel manlier when they are doing their women wrong.) He apparently felt unloved and made a desperate choice that he regretted. When his wife forgave him, though, he saw her in a new light, and their marriage was somehow refreshed, revived, whatever, by that grace and gratitude.

I can relate to this as I am going through a similar experience. Please let me know if you’d like to talk together? x

@MossMama, I would love to know how you're doing and what you and your husband have been able to implement in your marriage to support you. I feel very similar and am struggling mentally. Before we got married, my wife cheated on me when we were younger. We spent years to work on it, she became a believer, a grounded woman. But sadly, even after years at this point, I struggle mentally, as I constantly have questions about everything surrounding that, and images I make up as to what happened. It is eating me alive. Every day. And at this point, with years having passed, while she hasn't done anything remotely as bad as what she did when we were young, my mind and heart are not healed. I'm desperate to figure out how I can ever forgive it. I learned to forgive a lot of things in my life. But this, I have never been able to... :/