How do I ask for forgiveness?

Hello everyone, Glad to see I can discuss my problem and I am hoping for some advice. I've been in a relationship for 6 years. There was a lot of red flags during that period of time, but i decided to ignore them and love my boyfriend for who he is, with all his good and bad sides. During that period of time, he broke up with me twice, I decided to try and change myself so our relationship could last and grow. And we were happy, at least i thought so. We moved in together about a year ago, during that time there was beautiful and happy moments, which i enjoyed and loved very much. But there were also fights and arguing, financial problems most of time and him blaming me for not trying and not being good enough. Most of the times he would insult me which made me feel like a piece of ...., even though i was trying so hard, Anyway, I did everything for the love and probably attention. I was trying my best to manage work and house and all the chores and spare him from that, cause he is working 12 hours shifts. But everytime we fought, he was saying that he doesnt need that, he doesnt need someone who is cooking, cleaning, he could do it by himself and that started to hurt me and question our relationship. Everything I did, i did it with love, even though so many times i was tired I kept trying to make us feel good and happy about living with each other. He is not romantic, nor going out person, which bother me, but I was telling my self I accepted him for who he is. To get to the point, last time we fought he was so terrible to me, with his insults and anger issues and that hurt me a lot. I couldnt look at him or talk to him for two days, just so he could say on the third day that I am too dramatic and it is my fault for him speaking like that to me. (After every fight I was the one apologizing, because i just couldnt be mad at him). After that, i went home for holidays and a guy from work started chatting with me and we talked and talked and I told him about my relationship problems, which I know it was stupid and he told me that the relationship is toxic and thay i should break up and be with him. I keep telling him that I need to think and process everything and keep everything straight until I decide what I am going to do. I told him that i need time for myself and i dont want to rush into anything, most importat i need time to realize if i wanna work on my relationship. When i told him that i am going home to my boyfriend, he got mad and said he will show him all the chats we had. I had to call my boyfriend and explain what happened. He got mad and I understand. I was stupid, God i was stupid. He told me we can talk, but i need to think good what will I say, because that depends on if we gonna stay together or no. I am so sad, desperate, angry, I know i made a mistake, but I also felt lonely and he would not listen to that. I cant think at the moment, I am afraid and lost. It hurts so bad. I love my boyfriend so much I gave in soo much.