How to fix myself and self esteem

Hey,

I feel like I cant do anything right and that Im the root cause of all the issues in my relationship. I teeter between that not being right and then somehow still believing it. My boyfriend and I fight week in and week out. During the weekday things are great, and then on the weekends, we'll have a great date night but when it gets to the last few moments, something so small and random ticks me off and then I just shut down and don't communicate. And then I feel that things are so awkward for the next 2 days I just sit there in silence and it's hard for me to open up and talk and say I'm sorry and own up that I'm wrong. And then my boyfriend gets mad and says mean words of how I'm worthless and then I start spiraling and go back to being that I cant do things right. Ive pinpointed this but somehow still cant get over my pride in fixing things before they get worse.