How to forgive someone who has hurt you?

How to forgive someone who has hurt you when these people we share our life with make a mistake or break our trust?

We are demanding with whom we share our intimacy. Friends from work, neighbors, colleagues from college have a margin of tolerance. Family people we live with, longtime friends, husband, wife, children, these definitely don't have the credit for making mistakes.

We are intolerant and this is one of the important reasons we forgive. We are constantly judging who is very close and we do not do that with others.

Often these people do serious things that hurt and upset us, they deceive us and almost always we can't forgive right away. How to forgive?

But, after living with our feelings, withdrawing and reflecting on the considerations, we can be ready to understand, as long as pride and our moral sense do not interfere. And understanding doesn't exactly mean agreeing, just as forgiving doesn't mean dying of love for those who hurt you.

It takes emotional intelligence and having faced many things in life, having lived a lot to understand why people do certain things. Most of the time, because we don't have this ability, we remain stuck in someone or in some situation.

You may be asking yourself why to forgive or why it is important to forgive when what hurts is still alive.

I say the importance is huge for a couple of reasons. One should not walk through life carrying necessary grievances. Those who forgive walk lighter and unload a burden by leaving the pain behind. Those who forgive rescue a little of themselves and take possession of their feelings, their values, recover and open doors for other people in their life. Forgiveness is linked with our emotional healing.

To forgive someone, you must first forgive yourself.

One of the most important points in this process is to pay attention to the personal development and growth we are having through this pain. This is a very important point where you can decide to stay in the same emotional stage and be bitter or forgive and move forward with balance and serenity.

What do you need to forgive yourself for?

of guilt
of your choices
The things you said or didn't say.


Why forgive?

Resentment wears us out physically and emotionally and, in addition to being tiring, it is a feeling that leads to depression, anxiety, panic attacks, changes in the immune system, heart difficulties and other physical problems related to the level of stress in our body.

Accepting and being at peace with a situation that has occurred and has hurt us, and knowing that we can let go of it, gives us power and control. Forgiving shows us that we are taking responsibility for our happiness, rather than letting the actions of others determine our emotions and behavior.

Accept that things happen regardless of your will.

Forgiveness is a decision!

When we have the ability to forgive, when we make the decision to forgive, instead of staying inside the pain and resentment, we are moving towards returning to love, finding that love within us and consequently in the other.

The question of whether to forgive or not, therefore, does not seem to be in what we feel for the other, but rather how we feel about ourselves.

Maybe ten years is enough. Maybe you don't have to wait that long, maybe with five years, or three months. But the issue is not just the time. Our gaze needs to change so that we let go of resentment.

It takes a different look at what has hurt us emotionally.