I'm 18, unwanted and lonely
Hey, so I'm new and it's weird for me to talk about my feelings'cause I don't usually do... But I'll try.
I'm eighteen years old and I've never had a proper relationship. The longest I've lasted with anyone was eight days. And I guess you could tell me hey, you'll find someone, but that's not really the problem.
The problem is every guy that has ever shown a minimum of interest in me regretted it shortly after. And I mean, like, they're into me until they meet my friend. It doesn'tmatter who, any friend. Three times it's happened to me that I feel a bit better with myself (my self esteem isn't exactly high and I feel like nobody would ever like me quite often) 'cause for some reason I do not understand a guy seems to be interested in me... And then, all of a sudden, he's into my friend. Whichever one, three guys, three different girls they've preferred over me. And my best friend (who is my current crush's crush right now, though she doesn't know) has told me I'm not the problem, but I feel like I am. I feel like there's something about me that's just disappointingor disgusting and I push them away without even trying. I actually try notto.
It always happens. All the time, and I feel like it doesn't matter who it is,anybody will be better than me. Like I'm not even anyone's last choice, I'm not evenachoice.
And I don't know, I don't really believe in "true love" or any of that, I'm not sure I even believe in love, but I'd just like someone who was willing to make me believe. Or just feel wanted. I want someone I can have fun with and cuddle and stuff and who will care about me. I want someone to care for. And I don't feel like I'm ever gonnahave them.
@isaidimfine, reading your story made me think of a song. Have you ever heard of Rascal Flatts? They are a country band and they have a song called "bless the broken road" . If you havent heard the song, do me a favor and look up the lyrics online. One line says something about all the people you dont end up with leading you to the person that was made for you like northern stars. Another one talks about every long lost dream. Youre still young dont worry. God made someone especially for you, you just havent found him yet. I wouldnt worry about those IDIOTS that keep going for your girlfriends. Those fools are doing you a favor by doing it now instead of later, theyre showing you their true colors. I hope you have a great day. I care what happens to everybody that looks for help here. Dont give up hope.
I just listened to that song. Truly beautiful. I hope something like that will happen to me... Thanks. Linking it to music was certainly a really helpful way to answer that post, as I link everything I do or happens to me to music. So thank you.
You are truly welcome. Music has a power to make us feel different things. You can find some that give you hope. I feel the same way you do about having a certain connection or link, as you said, to certain songs. That song just popped into my head when I read what you had wrote. Do you have a hobby? Maybe you can meet mr. right that way. I run to get some exercise. If you run races, there are usually hundreds or thousands of people running in them. If you enjoy reading, you could go to Barnes and Noble, they have a little coffee shop. You could have a coffee and read, you never know, you might find him there. If you have a certain interest in something, you could find a local club and join, meet new people like that. I know they have running clubs in my area. I dont belong to one, but they have a regular one, they have one called girls on the run, and one I might see about called Team Hoyt. Team Hoyt joins able runners to handicap people. They let them start the race ahead of others. I was talking to a guy , who does it, and he said at their meeting, they showed a video that left nobody with dry eyes. It really makes these peoples days, who wouldnt normally be able to participate in something like this. I dont mean to be so long, im just trying to give you some ideas. Dont ever give up hope. You will be fine.
Hey I know what you mean.. but God is creating your princer charming so just be patient: -).. as for now dont compare yourself to anyone your so uniquely beautiful there is only one you just one! Some guys are jerks maybe you keep picking the same guy with the same characteristics as the last one., there was a time where my relationship didnt last more than five.days because guys would just use me.. I hope they arent using you.. because this has affected me very serverly.. but now I find someone after all these years.. I was a ugly duckling no lie.. so if someone accepted me someone will accept you too im sorry but you may next time not want to have your friend around your man crushes. You think you can do that ? *Hugss
Thank you. And no, they're not using me, they don't even have time for that. I try not to compare myself to others... But it's easier saying it than actually doing it. As for not having my friends around the guys I'm into, I think it won't be that easy, but I'll try. Thanks for the advice. *hug*
Everything you said here reminded me so much of feelings I've had before.
At times I act like I don't care to have a boyfriend then other times it pains me to see everyone else talk to so many guys when the only guys I've talked to this year are gay .
It's not fun feeling this way but we can only hope that someday someone will come along who was worth the wait
I know, I've said so many times how I don't want a boyfriend, mostly 'cause it's not bound to work out so what's the point anyway, and I know I don'tneedone, but then it's like everyone around me has a couple and I just feel lonely and it starts all over again.
It's not as bad as you think it is. I've been there before and know how it feels to see the people around you inrelationships while you end up on the sidelines. It's a cold place to be but not the end of the world. It's complicated, especially at 18 because you think it's the biggest deal, but really it's not,and you'll look back at this time in your life and laugh because you got as stressed out as you did over something that really wasn't that serious. Keep your head up!
In English and most of the European languages love means being together with someone in friends terms, but also the intimitet terms like a couple. Most find history boring but the greeks of old had different loves. You can have someone you feel sexual desires to, like someone you see on a club. But you also have friends aka brothers in arms style who you feel secure around and share pain and joy. Then you have the trust between a couple who has been together for a time and is over the usual crush phrase in a start of a relationship and strive to keep each other happy. And 3 more I dont remember. What I am telling you is to try to stop thinking about someone to find and have a boyfriend to make you happy. You have to be happy yourself before that. I stoped thinking about those thoughts a few months ago and did think I like to do and found a women I am seeing who makes me happy and I make her happy. There is a lot of bad guys out there but you have to fry them out and if they leave you because of your friends are hotter in their eyes then they are not worth it. You have to find someone who likes you as a person and not appearance, it is hard but you will eventually.
Listen, I'm 30 and have never been in a meaningful relationship with another human being. 18 is nothing. Trust me.
I'm similar to how you are. You're not alone.