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Insecurities

User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx December 11th, 2016

Does anyone ever have insecurities in a relationship and how do you deal with them?

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User Profile: charmingHemlock8168
charmingHemlock8168 December 11th, 2016

@Mellietronx This might sound silly, but lots of positive self-talk usually helps me. Looking in the mirror and telling myself "I'm so gorgeous" or picking out clothes to wear and thinking "I have good taste in clothes." I know you asked about insecurities in a relationship, but insecurities in a relationship basically develop from insecurities about yourself. Once you accept yourself, it'll be easier to view the relationship more objectively, and you can trust your judgment about things instead of asking "is this really an issue that I can solve using logic, or is it personal insecurities?"

User Profile: ChromeLotus
ChromeLotus December 11th, 2016

Having insecurities, esp in a new relationship, is common. It may help to keep in mind, that your partner may be a little self conscious to. It's ok to be nervous on a date. Also it's not necessary to always say the exact right thing. We're all people, and not perfect

User Profile: Ladybug11
Ladybug11 December 20th, 2016

@Mellietronx I am insecure because of his family :( they dont like me and it is always a source of self doubt for me... He always says how I make him so happy by being who I am. Yet his family doesnt appear to approve of me at all which brings out my insecurities... Am I enough? What is wrong with me that makes them think that way about me?
In the end I just calm myself down by telling myself that no, I have friends and am in a healthy 2 year relationship with him for a reason, It is not me. But then, why am I not compatible with so many people, and why do I have so few female friends :( Its worrying

User Profile: Overthinker3313
Overthinker3313 April 14th, 2017

@Mellietronx

The problem with me is that I'm too insecure to even be in a first relationship.

3 replies
User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx OP April 15th, 2017

@Overthinker3313 That sounds so tough :( I hope things get better for you in that department.

2 replies
User Profile: Overthinker3313
Overthinker3313 April 15th, 2017

@Mellietronx

I'm 16 but yeah I need to work on that, and hope that helped u realize that ur not the only one who gets insecure :)

1 reply
User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx OP April 15th, 2017

@Overthinker3313 you still have time 😊

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User Profile: Melu1992
Melu1992 April 15th, 2017

I think everyone has insecurities in their relationshisp but it's not something that you cannot work on. It does stem from being insecure with yourself. You have to love yourself first, know your worth. Recently I've been telling myself that I am a beautiful person inside out and I am worthy of love lol..it doesn't mean that you have to be full of yourself but just love yourself and try to have a good self esteem. It's been working for me. The more you hate yourself, the more insecure you're going to be.

1 reply
User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx OP April 15th, 2017

@Melu1992 Indeed! Most of my insecurities come from my ex and that situation :/

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User Profile: fancyLake23
fancyLake23 April 15th, 2017

@Mellietronx

Insecurities arise due to different reasons

1. Constant comparisons with others to find out the better in them.

2. Seeking approval/validation from almost everyone.

3. Being extremely possessive over your significant other.

4. Fear of being alone/let down due to multiple 'what ifs' or reasons.

5. Lastly we feel insecured due to expectations from our partners.

This can be avoided by

1. Accepting us and others for who we truly are instead of who we should be.

2. Never be a people pleaser and learn to say 'NO'.

3. Learn to let go when you think the relationship is really straining.

4. Learn to love 'unconditionally'.

5. Never set expectations on others.

1 reply
User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx OP April 15th, 2017

@fancyLake23 thanks! These are all great tips!

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