Love Addiction and Its Pattern
Hello everyone !
Who has never talked about love? Whether it be as desire, as passion, as affection, as pain, love has been treated since ancient times. It was written, sung and recited, some lived and others died for love.The vast number of facets of this sentimental state, if we can define it that way as well as recognizing its character of subjective experience, makes it very difficult to formulate a definition that can encompass its deep meaning.
* What is your experience with love?
* Have you ever felt the compulsion to seek out love through relationships ?
Though genuinely looking for love, the love addict is also searching for a connection that is based on unrealistic and inauthentic fantasy, an ideal not easily found outside of books and movies. Relationships that are one-sided quickly become dysfunctional.
* The love-addicted individual is constantly catering to a partner or on the lookout for someone to love, and they lose themselves in the process: did it ever happen to you?
Here we can discuss about it, feel free to share your experience!!
Admittedly, a lot of my experience with love hasn't been too healthy. I tend to seek it out in the wrong places, and it often causes me a lot of heartbreak. I like being in love, but it never seems to go as planned.
Definetly. I've gone from relationship to relationship hoping for some movie like transformation of my life, but unfortunetly have not found that and I am end up left heartbroken a lot of the times. I'm working on trying to build myself outside of that and not doing things because they will be attractive to a soulmate but rather good for myself.
@adventurousClementine6834
I feel the same way, and I also think it's important to work on ourselves at the same time. Good for us!
@BeyondTheInvisible
I definitely can relate to this. Most of my dating history has been forever seeking a perfect person that didn't exist. For me it was more to fill a void. I never knew or had a relationship with my father, and he passed when I was only 4 years old. My mom was in abusive relationships and never had anything last more than a few years. I was terrified I would settle like she did, and so the combo of trying to use relationships as a void-filler and my terror at settling, my relationships generally lasted a week to 3 months. Eventually my wall built up so much I just stopped dating altogether for years. Then met my current boyfriend, and things changed for a while. I've been with him for 3 years. But my wall has built up again. I am feeling that fear of settling seep in and focusing on the faults in our relationship.
I have been in 4 commited relationship (on my part anyway) for the last 16 yrs. I loved each of them dearly. However, I get to a point where I get bored/boring. I dont know if it is depression, laziness, or whatever. I wont break up with them because it terrifies me. I just withdraw. When I notice them start to withdraw like I did I go into full panic mode to try and win them over again. I dont know why I do this but it ruined all of these relationships. The women that are attracted to me ( and I to them) are clingy and we are both codependant. At first I love it. then the attention is overwhelming or I have won them over and they like me and I just stop trying. I try to get them to like me when they already do and I dont maintain them liking me for who I am. I hate that about myself. The only reason I enter relationships is because I feel like there is something there and they love me. When they start to pull away I am not myself. I do anything and everything they ask, become overly needy, always think that some mood fluctuation they have is a result of something I have done wrong and beat myself up and try to fix it. I lose myself, say things that I dont mean, make offers to do things I really dont want to do I know deep inside I cant keep it up. Its terrifying to think that after 16yrs of the same thing It may happen again. With my next gf. I dont want the pain, depression, anxiety, fear of getting into another relationship just to watch it slowly die like a tree thats been poisoned. I wish I knew the root cause so I could fix it.
@jmj315 i feel like this but means been one 7 year long relationship of us hurting eachother so think i fear being happy because i dont know how much more hurt i can handle. Yet i do want only want my relationship.
Can relate to so many of your posts! I've been in 5 relationships and got into all of them one after the other just so I didnt have to deal with the ''loneliness'' that comes with being single. I'm so scared of being left alone and am constantly on thr lookout for a relationship to make me "complete". It's a vicious circle and I've tried everything to get out of this.
@BeyondTheInvisible
This sounds like me