Member Community Discussion: BEING DUMPED
Hi there 7Cups community! I'm Grace. This discussion will be specifically about being dumped/broken up with. Many people experience being dumped in their lives and it's not usually a good feeling.Being broken up with can cause a variety of feelings, depending on how the relationship is going and how surprised you are. Sometimes we can see a break-up coming, and other times we thought the person felt the same way as we did. As a person who has experienced rejection in relationships many times, I can't wait to talk to everyone about this.To start off the conversation, let's talk about our experiences.
Have you ever been dumped? What was that experience like for you?
I've been in many break ups.
The worst was the last one. My last relationship was a year long and we lived together. We had been having some disagreements but certainly nothing we couldn't solve. I came home from work one day to all of his stuff gone and a note and key on the table. The note said "I moved back to <<other country>> and I left my cell phone. I hope you forgive me."
It took a really long time for me to see that him leaving was a blessing. I heard from him again two years later I guess he came to visit (this is where his mother lives) and he left a huge note on my car about how walking away was a mistake and stuff but I just threw it away.
That sounds terrible. It must have been such a shock for you Jay. But I'm glad that eventually you were able to accept it and see it as a good thing. And good for you for throwing the note away!
I still remember a breakup like it was yesterday.....his mother did not think I was right for him so....it still hurts a little its been30 yrs Im happily married, now though. All Is good.
Hi Julia. Thanks for posting!
I think the ones we loved so strongy are always going to be in our minds somewhere, even after a long time. Congratulations on being married for 30 years!
He came over one day and had the face. The "we need to talk face". So I braced myself, because I kind of knew it was coming. He told me that he wasn't open enough to receiveand give the feelings I was giving him. He is still very emotionally closed off due to a divorce. He said it wasn't fair to me to lead me along until we are years down the road and he still isn't open. I feel like he jumped the gun and didn't give us a proper chance to even see, butI understood. What can you do really? He has his own internal issues going on and he has to figure those out. I can only be there to support him. We had our cries, we hugged it out.It sucks being left like that, but we are still very close and there are no hard feelings. Who knows, we may get back together some day.
I'm sure that must have been asurprise for you, but Ithink it's great you were able to support him and continue to be friends with him.
One particular story of being dumped comes to mind for me. I met this guy and we seemed to have a nice relationship though it was just starting out. After a few months of dating, he invited me to go away with him and his friends for a couple days in Atlantic City. He paid for the room, the dinners, everything.While we were there, we had a nice time, but he kept saying that he didn't like to be touched in public (holding hands, arms around each other). Just simple things like that. I didn't think anything strange of it at the time. Even one time when we were eating dinner, they saw someone they knew and introduced me as his friend. I was thinking sure, I'm his "friend". I was so delusional at the time. I kept explaining away everything that was happening. When we got home, I went to kiss him, figuring that we were safely inside his house with no one home. But he pretty much pushed me away and said "It's over".
I was mad more than anything (though I was sad, but that came later).because I didn't understand why he had invited me at all if he wanted to break up. I'm sure he just didn't want to back out of it, but I would have rather been told the relationship is over before being taken on a weekend getaway and then being dumped the second we arrived home.
What does everyone think is the worst part of being dumped?
Do you think that we are more hurt by losing the relationship, or more hurt by what that loss does to us emotionally?
What does everyone think is the worst part of being dumped?
Constantly thinking your ex just replaced you with someone better. And the fact you might never found out what "better" means.
Do you think that we are more hurt by losing the relationship, or more hurt by what that loss does to us emotionally?
Both. It really depends how much we really understood the nature of the relationship and how much it was all just in our head.
What everyone else thinks?
When someone says I'm not in love with you anymore after 10 years, it's like being with cancer patient. You know the relationship is not well, just not sure how it ends. That's a horrible metaphor, but in the end, you know death is a hurtful blessing in some cases.
when some one calls you their soulmate and then needs "space" - what does that mean? when you are left behind and abused emotionally, you try not to become hardened, but when no one wants to be with you....the emotions run rampant. when realtionships built with a partner disappear and you're left alone, is it best to move away and start over? who can you trust?
