Partner cheated. I'm lost
My partner and I have been freinds for 10+years weve been dating for a couple years and engaged since november. Him and I have a great relationship. My whole family loves him (wich is hard to find).my daughter loves him and he loves my daughter. I want nothing more to stay,to work through it.
Him and I have both always been faithful people. He treats me and my daughter like gold and I try to do the same. But I have been sick for months, the last 2 weeks have been bad and last week I was hospitalized after my body gave up and he found me unconscious. I was gone for a week and 4 days. He messaged me daily ,sometimes hourly. I came home expecting my bubbly happy partner .but instead he was extremely down. Last night he compleatly broke down (crying,panic attacks, putting himself down). After hours of him compleatly losing it he admitted he had cheated 2 days before.. hes still extremely down.terrified I'm gonna pack his stuff any second. I want to work it out. But right now I'm lost and devastated. I dont know where to go from here.
@Artistry1994
Cheating smashes certain aspects of the relationship. Fortunately, your relationship has a solid 10+ year background that possibly has a lot more positives than his moment of weakness. You want to work through it. He wants to work through it. The silver lining here is, he told you himself despite being terrified of losing you. He respected your right to make the choice.
So now that you need to make this choice, the best way forward might be to try and understand the circumstances involved so that you can make an informed choice rather than an impulsive one. That includes the fact that you had been ill several weeks, gone for a few days and possibly he had been at his weakest in terms of vulnerability. Sometimes people seek comfort and that crosses the lines of comfort. Talk to him with the baseline of reaffirming that you both want this to work but what happened was not acceptable to either one of you. You need to both analyze and understand what happened, why it happend and how to ensure it never reaches that point again. It is an opportunity to open up discussions that you might not have previously had about needs, boundaries and mutual sharing of outside contact. The cheating threatens to destroy something very precious to both of you so if you work as a team to eliminate it from your relationship, you can probably achieve it.
All the best!
