Perpetually single

Sometimes I think being single isn't so bad. Its quiet, a little lonely, and can be difficult at times, but i'm free to do what i like and it's ok.

And then I hang out with people that aren't single and they talk about their relationships and how they've "grown" over the years, the experiences they've had, how much support and appreciation is exchanged between them... and it always eventually gets to me.

I'm 36. I've had 3 relationships and the longest lasted 3 months. I rarely date, but each one results in my being ghosted or being informed that there was another potential partner they've chosen to date instead. I'm old enough where i've started crossing paths with failed dates from 10-15 years ago and i've received a few contacts afterwards telling me how they've grown up, where they currently are in life, and are sorry they treated me badly and hope i'm doing well.

And I tell them it was a long time ago and i'm happy they've grown and found themselves... but it also makes me sad because it feels that everyone is getting these chances and experiences while I try to patch my life together solo. I'm not willing to settle for anyone just to be less lonely, but it would be nice to be able to relate to others who just assume everyone has experienced a long term relationship.