Self introspection #2
Relation is all about TRUST ..... If you wish to play detective ..... its time to move on.....
Q. Lately , I've started being suspecious about my partner. Checking his phone, Trying to get a different scent , Thinking about why he stays late night , or why is so much work always on him. Whenever I get suspecious about my guy , I should .....
a) play detective and keep a note
b) put the thought away as its mind makeup
c) talk about it to my partner and ask him to forgive you for the distrust
d) talk to a closest friend
After the question , you may have a doubt in your mind : Introspect by these questions:
Do I really trust my partner ?
Am I doing right by distrusting him ?
Am I breaking his trust by doubting on how much he/she loves me ?
WOULD WAIT FOR ALL YOUR ACTIVE PARTICIPATION AND ANSWERS ....... I'll be back tomorrow.... :) <3
@ececho
In my opinion any of the above answers can be correct depending on the individual.
Your suspion may be caused by a number of things:
- actual facts
- a gut feeling
- own insecurities
- past experience
- paranoia
- feelings of guilt
- feeling the need to "blame" your partner for something because of your own emotional struggles (and yes this does happen)
- you are looking for a way out without having to be "the bad guy"
I don't think the statement "if you wish to play detective it's time to move on" is 100% correct. Relationships are unique just like every individual.
In the end no relationship can be defined by 'n certain set of rules. Whether the suspicion is based on facts or just an emotional struggle, it is the choice of the person involved whether they want to continue, and perhaps impliment effective coping strategies, or leave. In the end a person should do what they feel is best for them, and for everyone it may not be the same thing.
@Nagisa
I guess , Being a detective is equivalent to disrespecting and breaking the relationship indirectly ,
I do understand that it may or may not be possible , but believeing tn your partner is reequired. Any confusion can be sorted out by talking , but spying is definately not the way out .
Do check another introspection https://www.7cups.com/forum/RelationshipSupport_66/PositiveProjections_526/DailyIntrospection_54808/
@ececho I agree communication is always the best way! Will check out the other posts :D
@Nagisa
Yup
What Nagisa said was a great response & well written 👍
That said I wanted to chime in on phone checking, bc I hav strong views on that. I feel that ppl are still entitled to privacy in a relationship... and secretly checking a partners phone (Spying) is a major violation of trust. Speaking for myself- if I caught my partner doing that, she'd be out the door so fast her head would spin. Their wouldn't even be a discussion (and no... I hav nothing to hide)
@ChromeLotus
Well i dont agree to you .... You definitely need to giveher a chance to defend . don't agree with her but never miss out to hear from her it . things seen are not always true . rest is up to you
@ChromeLotus I don't agree with sending someone out the door for it, but I agree 100% that it's a violation of privacy. Unless ofc the person willingly offers their phone or asks you to reply to a message but that is ofc something completely different. It can be argued that if you have nothing to hide there should be no issue if your partner goes through your phone but that being said it's still a violation of privacy and I would be annoyed, if not upset, even if I have nothing to hide. It ties in with respect for me.
@ChromeLotus forgot to mention sending someone out the door is ofc a personal choice, everyone sets their own personal boundaries and acts on them, so by saying I dont agree I am not saying you are wrong :D
@Nagisa
I agree to it
@Nagisa
I knew I was gonna catch a little heat for that Post, and that's ok 😉 I did say I had Strong feelings on this Topic. Not too many things get me worked up... but going threw a partners phone IS one of them. I put the words "Speaking for myself" in my Post, to make it clear- I wasn't implying that's how others should handle the situation. Anyways... I got 2 up-Votes (a couple ppl agreed) Prob got a few down votes to! (LoL)
@ChromeLotus
Lol.... I'm glad you spoke things truly..... not everyone does that
@ChromeLotus haha no heat from my side my friend, I too have strong feelings regarding this topic and may have said more than I should :') It's always interesting to see someone else's thoughts and opinions so thank you for sharing ♥
Im quite clear in this. There is no real relationship if you are having something to hide. So even if there arise a situation where i have a doubt on my partner i would talk to her directly and let her know that im not comfortable with whats happening.
@tranquilForever68
Well said .... <3
@ececho c) talk about it to my partner and ask him to forgive you for the distrust
@Mellietronx
Great ...... we think alike...... high 5
If i suspect my partner was cheating,
I call my girls, do my make up, get dressed up and we go out and i wont even mention it, (however if its a break up, yes) and just have fun with them, Clubbing, movies, dinner, a night out.
You gain your confidence with your friends, and you probably get your confidence boosted when a guy hits on you.
Just dont make sure you dont do the same or something stupid and sleep with men, your there for you and your girls, no proving something, no getting back at, no nothing.
If he cheats, he cheats. Like you said, im not going to play detective, its a waste of energy.
By speaking about it with your girls, theyre going to either give you a negative feedback, and let your feelings build, like yeah what an ass, and they hate him too, although 50% is suspected and it drives you away from your girls
@PearTree1904
ANS: B, but do it in style,
Tell him ur going clubbing, before you get ready, and if he says he'll come to, then its a low chance hes cheating on you.
if he says no, hes hanging with friends, or busy, tired, without the explanation or i would like to but..
Then get your fine ass ready and walk past him, dont look at his reaction and walk to the door, say a comment if you will, and make sure you have the last laugh,
.. then dump him.
@PearTree1904
I liked the way you think about prospective ........ and they way you think of dealing with it is amazing . But never forget to give a second chance to your partner
I would talk to my partner about my feeling because communication is very important to a relationship, this I would try to resolve the issue between us if that does not help then maybe I would talk to a friend for their impact.
@Helping2findAway
I appriciate your thoughts :)
Talk to your partner long before you ever get to the point of violating his/her trust. Part of developing healthy relationships is being able to recognize feelings before they escalate to a reaction that doesn't benefit anyone.
It does take time and nobody is perfect. If you make a mistake, admit it and genuinely apologize.
Your partner could always be planning a special surprise for you as opposed to doing something deceitful. Give him or her a chance. (:
@Compassionatelistener108
Those are lovely words one could ponder upon . Thank you :) <3
@ececho
Thank you so much! You made the sunshine come out after a day of rain, literally 😀
I hope someone will be as kind to you.
@Compassionatelistener108
Ooh no dear, I'm just giving out my best here . This cant be helpful without you all . Thanks a lot to you too .
Love,
Echo
According to me if someone gets suspicious then the trust is surely fading away and thats not a good sign when you are in a relationship. Never suspect the person you love .. if you find something is fishy its best to talk it out with your partner rather playing detective. So intrespect yourself and be clear what questions to ask which will not complicate things further.
Introspect**
@UJ91
I'm glad. You're right . Trust is the base of all relation. :)
